Attachment? Too quickly or is it normal?

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Attachment? Too quickly or is it normal?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    katrina26
    katrina26
    Participant
    March 22, 2013 at 10:09 am #26657
    Attachment? Too quickly or is it normal?

    Some of you might have read my other posts and should know what im talking about. I started talking to this guy around march 1. I used to know him before but the only thing he used to do was bother me and make fun of me. He told me he did because he likes me. Bottom line is that we have been talking since then everyday and can’t seem to get tired of each other. Our conversations flow and we joke around a lot. We went out on a first date and it went well after that he asked me if I liked him because if I didn’t he was going to leave me alone. I told him I liked him. The second date comes and we went ice skating. We went to a place that are a bunch of boats and had our first kiss titanic version. After the date we went to have coffee and he dropped me at my home. The cool thing is that he told me he was not going to go inside my apartment just to bother me but he ended up meeting my family on the second date. After the date he told me he really enjoyed being with me and that he loves kissing me and holding me and that he is taking me serious. And i asked him how? and he told me i should feel it by the way he treats me and hold me and that if he wasn’t serious about me he wouldn’t have met my family past week he has become pretty romantic and caring and tells me how he wants to hold me and cuddle with me. And telling me he would like that someday we take trips together. He also told me his mom knows he is dating me and wants to take me to his home. So what do you think about it is this too fast? Or normal ? Ohh he also told me he liked me since back in November when he met me but was afraid to tell me.


    slobeachboy
    Participant
    March 22, 2013 at 11:59 am #26691

    Well, to use the vernacular of Vince Vaughn from the Wedding Crashers, I’d say what you have here is a stage four clinger. The fact that he felt the need to directly confront you about your feelings for him after just one date and that he said he would “leave you alone if you didn’t like him” is a very strong indication of him having extremely low-self esteem and the accompanying insecurities that go along with it. And pretty much everything else you said leads me to this same conclusion. And as you are probably well aware these types of guys have the potential to become dangerous stalkers once you leave them, or at the very least can lead to some major league drama in your life. Still I wouldn’t necessarily pull the plug just yet, particularly if you really enjoy being with the guy. After all I wasn’t all that different from him when I was a teenager and I turned out pretty okay. Of course if he’s 30 years old and still acting like this then he’s probably a done deal and I would steer clear of him. You should also know that occasionally you can come across a guy who is a player and who only pretends to be the insecure love sick puppy just to get in a girls pants. But that’s fairly rare and I seriously doubt that this is what you are dealing with here. Anyway, unfortunately nobody can make this decision for you and you’re just going to have to go with your gut on this one. As for me, if I were in a similar situation today I would simply move on, but if I were still twenty it would be an entirely different story. Anyway if I were you I would just have a good time with this guy and see where it goes while still keeping my eyes open for any potential signs of trouble.