Auto Fail = Male giving card with contact info to female?

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Auto Fail = Male giving card with contact info to female?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Eyesoftheraven
    Eyesoftheraven
    Participant
    June 16, 2014 at 9:32 pm #55405
    Auto Fail = Male giving card with contact info to female?

    24/M. A few days ago, I met a girl at a store who I was very attracted to. We casually chatted and flirted. I learned she had taken the same college courses at the same school as me by coincidence. ~10 minutes later while purchasing my products I said, “Let me give you my card.” I thought this felt appropriate as I now work in the field we were both pursuing. She seemed happy to take my card. Haven’t heard from her.

    That same day I was at a local theater, where I noticed a girl I recognized. I approached and explained where I knew her. Turns out it was who I thought and she did remember me. The last time we saw each other was ~7 years ago. She seemed quite happy to hear I’m doing fairly well for myself and to be reacquainted in general. She was however on her way into the theater so I offered my card. She was happy to take it. I said I was really happy to have run into her and hope to talk more soon. Haven’t heard from her.

    My thinking is that they’re just not into me. Simple no?


    daniel
    Participant
    June 17, 2014 at 6:20 am #55410

    Maybe they’re into you, maybe not. I think maybe you shouldn’t be so passive. Ask them for their numbers, rather than just giving them yours.

    Jarod Oner
    Jarod Oner
    Participant
    June 17, 2014 at 2:57 pm #55445

    People give out their business cards all the time… next time you do that, tell them to exchange info with you and that you’ll text/call them in a bit.

    Always ask for the number whenever you’re interested in a chick. I agree with Daniel, you shouldn’t be so passive… that never gets you anywhere. Being forward does.

    Eyesoftheraven
    Eyesoftheraven
    Participant
    June 17, 2014 at 3:47 pm #55449

    People give out their business cards all the time… next time you do that, tell them to exchange info with you and that you’ll text/call them in a bit.
    Always ask for the number whenever you’re interested in a chick. I agree with Daniel, you shouldn’t be so passive… that never gets you anywhere. Being forward does.

    Thanks to both of you for your response. I’m just really frustrated because I’ve had as much luck being passive as I have when being forward. Going with the flow and adapting to each unique situation fits my personality more naturally, but I am able to comfortably advance in a more direct manner and have done so before. It seems there’s no right or wrong, consistent answer. It all comes down to luck in mood and circumstance I guess.


    Marcello
    Participant
    June 17, 2014 at 11:07 pm #55481

    No actually there’s no luck involved, and you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just realize it happens, but first if I may ask, what exactly it is you want?

    What’s the thought process going in when you’re handing out cards? Do you want a date? A business partnership?

    If it’s personal, never ever EVER mix business with pleasure. If you’d like to be passive, then give her your number instead of your card. OR, exchange numbers so you have eachothers.

    Talk to me my friend, I’m curious to know what’s going on here.

    Eyesoftheraven
    Eyesoftheraven
    Participant
    June 18, 2014 at 8:44 am #55485

    No actually there’s no luck involved, and you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just realize it happens, but first if I may ask, what exactly it is you want?
    What’s the thought process going in when you’re handing out cards? Do you want a date? A business partnership?
    If it’s personal, never ever EVER mix business with pleasure. If you’d like to be passive, then give her your number instead of your card. OR, exchange numbers so you have eachothers.
    Talk to me my friend, I’m curious to know what’s going on here.

    Frustrated is not equal to feeling sorry for myself. It’s just a contact card. Anyone who I give the card to with business intentions just needs my name and demo material. If these girls search my name or visit my site, they’ll see I’m a legit, professional freelance Director of Photography, camera Operator, video editor who’s worked with Paramount Pictures, Legendary pictures, TLC, Spike TV, Discovery, and more.

    Eyesoftheraven
    Eyesoftheraven
    Participant
    June 18, 2014 at 8:44 am #55487

    No actually there’s no luck involved, and you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just realize it happens, but first if I may ask, what exactly it is you want?
    What’s the thought process going in when you’re handing out cards? Do you want a date? A business partnership?
    If it’s personal, never ever EVER mix business with pleasure. If you’d like to be passive, then give her your number instead of your card. OR, exchange numbers so you have eachothers.
    Talk to me my friend, I’m curious to know what’s going on here.

    Frustrated isn’t sorry for myself. It’s just a contact card. Anyone who I give the card to with business intentions just needs my name and demo material. The girls would have to search my name or visit my site to learn I’m a professional freelance Director of Photography, Camera Op, video editor who’s worked W/ Legendary pictures, TLC, Spike TV, Discovery, and more. What I’m feeling is regret through not asking for their number up front.

    Eyesoftheraven
    Eyesoftheraven
    Participant
    June 18, 2014 at 8:44 am #55488

    @Marcello

    Frustrated isn’t sorry for myself. It’s just a contact card. Anyone who I give the card to with business intentions just needs my name and demo material. The girls would have to search my name or visit my site to learn I’m a professional freelance Director of Photography, Camera Op, video editor who’s worked W/ Legendary pictures, TLC, Spike TV, Discovery, and more. What I’m feeling is regret through not asking for their number up front.


    Marcello
    Participant
    June 18, 2014 at 3:49 pm #55549

    So what exactly is it you want when you’re handing out these cards to women?

    Eyesoftheraven
    Eyesoftheraven
    Participant
    June 18, 2014 at 5:11 pm #55563
    Reply To: Auto Fail = Male giving card with contact info to female?

    So what exactly is it you want when you’re handing out these cards to women?

    lol, this site sucks. It didn’t let me know I was posting over and over. How ridiculous. Mods, can you delete the multiples?

    I don’t strictly want anything. It would be nice if I heard from them. Just a simple text or email. From there I would probably flirt or chat and then ask them out probably by calling. From now on I’m only going to be forward and go straight for getting their number. At least that way I will be turned down or not in person.


    Anonymous
    June 18, 2014 at 8:42 pm #55600
    Reply To: Auto Fail = Male giving card with contact info to female?

    Hi Marcello…I am going to support your belief that every single situation is different. Every girl is different, every day you feel different and I am a profound believer to just stay in alignment and with going with the flow about what you are sensing and feeling in the moment. Sometimes I get what I want and sometimes I don’t. That’s life isn’t it? And most of the time, I have no idea why what I do works sometimes and then not. It doesn’t really matter to me. The only thing that matters to me is that I am myself and authentic and the other person will either be inspired by that or not.

    The only thing I would suggest you do differently is to let them know you would like “coffee” sometime….or something to that effect so they are clear you would like to take them out sometime. Getting their number in return is also another option, however I know plenty of women who give their numbers just so they don’t have to reject the guy in the moment, but they plan on never


    Anonymous
    June 18, 2014 at 8:52 pm #55601
    Reply To: Auto Fail = Male giving card with contact info to female?

    answering or responding or give fake numbers. I can see 3 different scenarios with you: 1. they may think you were more about business than actually being attracted to them 2. they are not interested 3. they are not available for some reason

    You may never know, so your challenge in that is to be okay with yourself regardless. I believe one of the most important skills in life is to be able to handle rejection and/or non-responsiveness without letting it hit your self-esteem. You sound very solid and asked a good question, so I want to lead you back to yourself and confirm that there is NO RIGHT WAY like you already said!!!! You have been successful in a variety of different situations. Being unsuccessful is just a part of the dating world and many times, it can do with things we have no idea are going on in the other person’s life. So just keep being you and trust that a woman will be inspired by you when the timing and connection is there enough to move forward. Cheers!

    Eyesoftheraven
    Eyesoftheraven
    Participant
    June 18, 2014 at 9:30 pm #55604
    Reply To: Auto Fail = Male giving card with contact info to female?

    Thanks Heidi. Those 3 scenarios are, for the most part, what I see as the only possibilities. It’s both logical and socially reasonable. From here on out, I’m going to make my intentions during more random encounters like this as crystal clear as is appropriate per situation. My intentions by the way are a date leading to whatever happens. I am not strictly looking for love or casual friends with benefits.