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dating4nowParticipantMarch 13, 2013 at 2:26 am #25624
I met a gorgeous, funny, intelligent woman on a dating site. After emailing back and forth about 5 times she suggested meeting up. She actually suggested a few date ideas- museum, music event, etc. I did not go with the preferred more casual date choices and went for the traditional dinner at a fancy restaurant. In my defense she expressed an interest in a particular type of cuisine and we both agreed it would be fun. The date took place 2 Sundays ago and since then I sent her a text, an email, another text and another email on subsequent days starting on the following Tuesday after the date.
The date was awesome! I arrived early. We had a nice intimate setting and an engaging conversation. She opened up to me in a very deep way about her life and her family. She actually used the words “this is really getting deep”. I wasn’t sure if this was making her feel uncomfortable so I decided to change the conversation to respect her space. Anyway we joked around about 70% of the time and had a similar sarcastic sense of humor. We both suggested possible things we could do together in the future. I should say that there were about 4 awkward silences and perhaps a few times where I questioned why she would do certain things that annoyed her. We did some role playing- it was fun. She asked me to feel something on her body – I showed something on mine (all above the chest :). She ended things first by saying “I guess we should get going” however not before we ending up being there for like 3 hours. I walked her to her car – we had a good hug – no kiss. She told me to call, text or email.
OK, so that night I texted her to thank her for a fun time and that I looked forward to seeing her again. She then replied saying hope to see me again soon with a smile face. Then a few days later on Tuesday I texted her asking if it was too late to text – she was OK with texting however she was not feeling well and was extremely tired. I said a few awkward things (gave her advice on taking a hot shower or something). I then felt the need to express how amazing funny and beautiful she is on the inside and out (by the way, all true!) She said I was incredibly sweet and funny. I then responded with an awkward it’s all true you’re a star or something sappy and a wink. Then ended the text by saying she should get some rest because I wouldn’t want her to be sick the next time we met.
On Wednesday I then sent her a creative albeit pretty weird email, intending to be funny and creative. I was attempting to continue with something from our date- something about me being vampire and that I require the company of a pretty, funny female vampire….I’m sure you get the gist…and that we could save the world. In the second paragraph I proposed a date idea and asked her what her plans were for the weekend (which was this past weekend). She listed things she had planned for every day except Sunday. I then wrote back with my schedule for the weekend however my intention in doing so was to say that Saturday was the better day for me. ..and since she already had plans for Saturday perhaps we could get together the following weekend. She then replied by saying why would I want to get together with her on the weekend if I was so busy? She ended by saying next weekend sounded good to her.
On Thursday, I decided to send her a funny text to which she responded with an lol and a funny comment. I continued with the joke and she picked it apart a little. I ended the joke and asked her if she had time to talk on the phone. She said she was busy entertaining friends and was going to be away from her phone. I then texted her to see if I could call her later. She did not respond.
Then this Friday was the last time I sent her anything. I sent her an email asking her how her day was going and to ask for her advice or comment on a design I was working on- with an image of the design attached to the email. I actually used the words “I value your opinion” and “I would greatly appreciate your feedback” “feel free to say whatever you think” since has an eye for design (all true) though I can see how I may have come off as being needy or something other than friendly. She didn’t respond and that was 5 days ago. Now I’m thinking about calling her with some really well thought out date ideas.
I’m hoping someone has a suggestion on how I should follow up to see if we are still on for the weekend.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!
slobeachboyParticipantMarch 13, 2013 at 1:31 pm #25734
Its sounds to me like there is a good chance that you may indeed have come off as a bit needy. And if that’s the case there’s probably not a whole lot you can do about it at this point. After all, when people who give off a needy vibe try to remedy their situations they invariably just end up digging themselves in deeper. In any case, when someone is communicating back and forth with you on a daily basis and then they suddenly cut all communication for a week its pretty much over – no ifs, ands, or buts.
But let’s forget about all that for a moment. My real question to you is; WHY ON EARTH are you texting this girl when you should have just been calling her in the first place? You’ve already said that you have a sarcastic sense of humor and, if so, surely you must know that sarcasm doesn’t translate well into writing. Without being able hear voice inflexion and see facial expressions it’s very easy for some people to take sarcasm literally. Emoticons help of course but not always. And I’m telling you this as someone who also has a very sarcastic sense of humor and who has done a butt load of instant messaging with people from all around the globe for years. I learned my lesson long ago about how easily written jokes can be misconstrued, often with disastrous results. Its also interesting to note that the more deeply insecure a person is the more likely they are to misinterpret a joke and take it literally. So sometimes misunderstanding are good as they can tell you whom you are really dealing with before you get too involved with them.
By the way, although I will IM with someone in another country for hours on end I am never going to be texting someone in my own town when I can just pick up the phone and call them. And if a girl tries to send me more than two text messages in a row I just tell her to pick up the phone and call me. Texting was never meant to replace voice conversation anyway. It was invented to allow us to send a quick message to someone in a business meeting and unable to talk, or send an address to someone so they would not need to write down, etc. It was never supposed to be used for a back and forth dialogue. But now that’s its become the latest fad people are using it to insulate themselves from real human contact. And the more they use it the less adept they become at socializing in the real world – at least with people they don’t know well.
I really have to wonder just what kind of lame a$$ society have we become when we are actually texting people on their cell phones to ask them if they have time to take a call from us on that very same cell phone? JUST CALL THEM!
Also if a girl is not interested in you it will be much easier to ascertain this from an actual conversation than it will be from reading text message (awkward silences, etc.). And wouldn’t you rather know this sooner than later? I know I certainly would.
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