Being "friendzoned"

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Being "friendzoned"

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Gvnm4
    Participant
    October 21, 2015 at 3:34 am #87142
    Being "friendzoned"

    I met this really nice guy I had 3 dates with. The first date was great and he specifically said that he really wants to see me again and I felt the same way, which I told him.

    During the second date we kissed, hold hands and later made out in my car. The night ended with him saying that he only wants to be friends.
    However the day before the next date he said that “he’s really looking forward to it”

    The third date was at his place. We watched movies and snuggled up for most of the time, but he did not want to kiss. That was pretty much the only thing he didn’t want to do, because later on we had sex and I’m more or less sure we both enjoyed it. Still, no kissing.

    I suspect that he doesn’t have that many friends and his relationships might not have been that successful. So it would make sense that he’d opt for a friendship instead of a relationship (which will eventually end…).

    Currently, I’m following the usual steps “to get out of the friendzone”. Any other advice?


    msmith0741
    Participant
    October 22, 2015 at 5:12 am #87178

    To be completely honest it sounds like he’s using you, doesn’t want commitment, and wants more a friends with benefits type deal. What do you want? If you want a relationship, take into consideration that he doesn’t even have the guts to be straight forward wth you and that his words contradict his actions. Doesn’t seem like he’s relationship worthy, but talk to him first, just be blunt about your curiosity, don’t let him play mind games with you unless that’s what you’re into lol. Best of luck 🙂


    TheBigO
    Participant
    October 22, 2015 at 9:11 am #87173

    As a guy, I think he might be taking advantage of you. It’s messed up, but a guy will do some messed up things if he is lonely. What you need to do is lay it out straight. Don’t let him have sex with you if it seems like he’s not interested in a relationship. (Assuming thats what you’re looking for). Tell him that you really like him, but if he wants to keep interacting with you on dates and sexually, than he has to actually commit to that, rather than just taking advantage of you which may lead to an friends with benefits situation which is NOT what you want if you actually want a relationship.

    Let me know how it goes


    Gvnm4
    Participant
    October 22, 2015 at 11:55 am #87211

    Thanks for the advice guys. Yesterday I got more or less confirmation that he might be suffering from Asperger syndrome, which slightly complicates the situation. I can’t say I’m 100% sure because he hasn’t actually told me. But the information I got should be accurate.
    I’m sure this explains some of his behaviour but reinforces the fact that he doesn’t want a relationship. For different reason maybe, not sure…

    Walker97
    Walker97
    Participant
    February 11, 2016 at 10:51 am #93372

    It sounds like he is taking advantage of you. I know its hard to end something with someone you find attractive and have fallen for, but that might be the best course of action. I would however talk to him first. Communication is key!