Being physical

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Being physical

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  • starbottle
    Participant
    November 20, 2016 at 11:21 am #117940
    Being physical

    Hi All,

    So I met this girl about 6 weeks ago, we have since been out on several dates and we text regularly.
    My problem is we are both pretty awkward people. I have never been in a real relationship lasting longer than a month (33m sad I know), and she has only been in 1 relationship that was long distance (29f).
    I have managed to get a kiss out of her which was really nice, but the mood was just right for that. She said she was not very experienced at kissing but she said it was nice too.
    Now to my problem, I am finding it very difficult to get close to her in a physical way, I mean out walking I would really like to hold her hand, and when she is at mine watching a movie I would really like to cuddle up with her on the sofa. but I really cant seem to break that barrier. She still agrees to go on dates with me so she must be attracted to me in some way. How can I break the physical barrier to make us both more comfortable? Can I say something to make her more at ease?


    Jeje977
    Participant
    November 20, 2016 at 4:32 pm #117956

    I believe a good way to break would be while watching a movie example, if you are sitting close to each other, just put you hand, gently, on her lap, and see how it goes. Just start gentle, like touching hands you know?

    open2advice
    open2advice
    Participant
    November 29, 2016 at 8:32 pm #118504

    Speaking from one overly confident woman to an awkward make, the more comfortable and confident you are, the more comfortable and confident she will be. Sometimes it’s hard to summon confidence when your unsure of yourself, but humor and honesty work best.
    At the beginning of your next date, tell her you spent your entire last two dates pondering the best approach to the “good night kiss.” And overthinking it made it impossible. To avoid the same thing happening on this date, you’d like to know if she would be open to having the awkward kiss now so you can pay better attention to her. Smiling and even laughing when you say it will put her at ease, and she most likely will be glad you finally figured out a way to break the ice. Good luck!


    starbottle
    Participant
    November 30, 2016 at 3:32 am #118523

    Thanks open2advice. I have actually progressed quite well in the last 10 days. I have been to her house several times over the last week and now enjoy cuddling on the couch and kissing her goodnight every time.
    We did have a chat about our history and what I wanted to do like holding her hand. She said that I should just do it and if I was unsure the just ask her.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    December 1, 2016 at 4:34 pm #118724

    good news? she’s into you. why? she keeps coming/agreeing and kisses you. you’re in.
    so there are 2 ideas i have for you…

    just naturally start cuddling or putting your arm around her. If you’ve already started kissing then you can lead with a kiss (since you know that’s okay already) and then while kissing or after kissing.. move in with the hands to hold her, hug her, snuggle whatever.

    the other idea is during your most comfortalbe form of communication (phone calls, texts, emails, whatever) – mention that you enjoy her a lot but still get nervous.. and how you’d love to cuddle or have thought how nice it would be to cuddle, etc. pretty sure she’ll say she has felt/though the same way. ice broken. that can esaily move into agreeing to have a little snuggle next time 🙂

    (sometimes with 2 inexperienced partners.. talking about and joking about how nervous you are from that inexperience can bring a sense of ease/relief to both).

    good luck!