Bizarre Situation – Did I do the right thing?

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Bizarre Situation – Did I do the right thing?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    djg3665
    Participant
    May 16, 2014 at 4:39 pm #53055
    Bizarre Situation – Did I do the right thing?

    I have been dating a girl online for several months, she lives Colombia, she does not speak English very well, but I speak Spanish. We have not met in person but we will in a couple of months. We both decided to be exclusive. My problem is that she never responds to texts which is really our only means of communication right now. At first it was that her phone is having problems, so I bought her a new phone..Problem solved right? No. I told her it is ok to not talk for a few days, just communicate that, but she tends to just disappear… She said that she is not dating anyone else, has never cheated, and that she wants to be in a relationship with me, she loves me, I am her boyfriend, etc… After bringing this issue to her attention several times and that I am telling her what I need in a relationship, she did it again…my last message to her is that we need to talk. I am more frustrated than anything, she is a good girl, but things need to change. What should I do?


    sara_smith17
    Participant
    May 16, 2014 at 8:02 pm #53079

    she could be not ready yet; confront her with her fears


    thisisthelife2
    Participant
    May 18, 2014 at 1:21 am #53107

    People are unreliable. And sometimes they can’t deal with the commitment of a long-term relationship. You need to talk to her. But congratulations on being able to find somebody far away who is so nice to you. These kinds of relationships can be few and far between.


    djg3665
    Participant
    May 26, 2014 at 4:39 pm #53744

    After finally reaching her via email, she said that the phone that I just bought her was stolen and this is why she had not talked with we for several days. She said that she will need to talk via email until she gets a new phone. Several days later, still no messages from her. I was randomly checking my messages and I noticed her appear ‘online’. (We use whatsapp messenger and an individuals status appears the last time that they were online; however for a couple of weeks, I noticed that she had privacy blocked her status meaning that no one could see when she last used the application unless she was communicating with whatsapp at the time.) She told me that she was using her friends phone, but can only use it when she is at work because she can use it over wifi; after reading the whatsapp policies, apparently she can only send messages from her phone number; it is not possible to send from a friends phone.


    ape1234
    Participant
    May 26, 2014 at 11:30 pm #53750

    I have a feeling this is not the best idea to keep dating this person.


    Anonymous
    May 27, 2014 at 7:45 am #53765

    Hope she is not a con artist, hope she is not making you believe that she is a good girl. Know what, it is better to know the bad things about the person rather than imply that you are good but you are not.


    djg3665
    Participant
    May 27, 2014 at 8:44 am #53746

    I did not bring this up to her since she started to talk with me again and told me that she was going to visit family over the weekend. I told her that we both need to take time to communicate with each other if we want the relationship to work. She agreed and said that she will try harder. Then again, no response for 4 days; finally today I told her that I can’t be in a relationship with someone who ignores me, does not communicate, and likes the benefits of having a boyfriend without the relationship. I told her that I was going to cancel my trip to Colombia and I asked her to reimburse me for the phone (unlocked iphone) and asked her to answer the question of how she could send a message from her account on her friends phone. She responded that she loves me and does not want to fight. I haven’t responded yet, but noticed that she unblocked her privacy status so I can now see when she is using whatsapp. Does it sound like she is flaking on me? Playing games? Cheating?


    djg3665
    Participant
    May 27, 2014 at 8:44 am #53747

    I did not confront her on this, but told her that if we want the relationship to work, we need to make time for each other. She agreed and again said that she will work harder. We talked a bit for a couple of days and said that she was going to visit her family over the weekend. Great, finally she indicated that she won’t be able to talk. Then poof, no contact again. Feeling frustrated today, I finally told her that I can’t be in a relationship with someone who ignores every message and seems to like the benefits of a boyfriend without the relationship. I asked her to explain how she could communicate from her friend’s phone when she only communicate from her phone number which was “stolen” and asked her to reimburse me for the cost of the phone ($750). She responded that she loves me and she doesn’t want to fight, but won’t answer my questions. In also notice that she switched her privacy status to visible again…. Is she just flaky? Is she playing games? Cheating?