Blew my first chance, now I'm looking for a second

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Blew my first chance, now I'm looking for a second

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    maceo.dumpstein
    Participant
    June 13, 2013 at 12:23 am #33391
    Blew my first chance, now I'm looking for a second

    I am in my mid-twenties—the woman I am interested in is about a year younger than I am—and to be frank, in light of my age I feel a bit embarrassed about asking for advice on this topic. Nevertheless, here it is:

    We are both graduate students in the same program; she enrolled right after I finished my first year. I have known her for about three months and I feel that I have a good rapport with her. For example, she initially introduced herself to me at weekly student organized get together at a local pub, our conversations seem to go off quite well, and we share similar interests. A few weeks ago, she even invited me to a barbecue at her place. During the barbecue, we hit it off any engaged in a bit of light, flirtatious banter. I wanted to ask for her number right then and there, but I thought that would be uncouth of me since we were constantly surrounded by our mutual friends. After the barbecue was over, my close friend told me that this woman seemed like she was into me and suggested that I ask her out on a date.
    It has been two weeks since the barbecue, and I feel compelled to follow my friend’s advice and ask her out. She is gorgeous, fun to talk to, good humored, and I really want to get to know her better. Moreover, I know that she is single. Unfortunately, we are both working and taking class part-time, and since my class meets in the afternoon, and her class meets in the evening, our random run ins at school have become less frequent.

    I pretty sure the class she is taking this summer is a class that I took a few semesters ago. I was thinking about messaging her on facebook something along the lines of: “Are you taking basket weaving 101? I have a few study guides left over from when I took it and it they are not worth the effort to try to sell, so instead of letting them collect dust, I’d be glad give them to you.”

    As you might be able to tell, my motivation behind this gesture is not entirely altruistic. Instead, I was hoping that this would give us the opportunity to meet again in person, where I would be able to ask her out. Does this plan come off as a bit creepy?

    I am a bit nervous that my plan will backfire, and that I will have to deal with the awkwardness of running into her throughout our final year as classmates. However, I would much rather know for certain whether she is romantically interested in me than continuously thinking “if only I . . .” Any feedback will be very much appreciated.


    cdr
    Participant
    June 17, 2013 at 1:18 am #33406

    I am in my mid-twenties—the woman I am interested in is about a year younger than I am—and to be frank, in light of my age I feel a bit embarrassed about asking for advice on this topic. Nevertheless, here it is:

    We are both graduate students in the same program; she enrolled right after I finished my first year. I have known her for about three months and I feel that I have a good rapport with her. For example, she initially introduced herself to me at weekly student organized get together at a local pub, our conversations seem to go off quite well, and we share similar interests. A few weeks ago, she even invited me to a barbecue at her place. During the barbecue, we hit it off any engaged in a bit of light, flirtatious banter. I wanted to ask for her number right then and there, but I thought that would be uncouth of me since we were constantly surrounded by our mutual friends. After the barbecue was over, my close friend told me that this woman seemed like she was into me and suggested that I ask her out on a date.
    It has been two weeks since the barbecue, and I feel compelled to follow my friend’s advice and ask her out. She is gorgeous, fun to talk to, good humored, and I really want to get to know her better. Moreover, I know that she is single. Unfortunately, we are both working and taking class part-time, and since my class meets in the afternoon, and her class meets in the evening, our random run ins at school have become less frequent.

    I pretty sure the class she is taking this summer is a class that I took a few semesters ago. I was thinking about messaging her on facebook something along the lines of: “Are you taking basket weaving 101? I have a few study guides left over from when I took it and it they are not worth the effort to try to sell, so instead of letting them collect dust, I’d be glad give them to you.”

    As you might be able to tell, my motivation behind this gesture is not entirely altruistic. Instead, I was hoping that this would give us the opportunity to meet again in person, where I would be able to ask her out. Does this plan come off as a bit creepy?

    I am a bit nervous that my plan will backfire, and that I will have to deal with the awkwardness of running into her throughout our final year as classmates. However, I would much rather know for certain whether she is romantically interested in me than continuously thinking “if only I . . .” Any feedback will be very much appreciated.


    cdr
    Participant
    June 17, 2013 at 1:19 am #33407

    She is confused that you haven’t asked her out. Pick up the phone and ask her out. She says yes, she’s interested. She says no, she’s not interested, but hey, you gave it a shot.