Blocked for being nice?

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Blocked for being nice?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    August 8, 2017 at 3:29 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    bguy
    bguy
    Participant
    August 2, 2017 at 11:46 pm #144116
    Blocked for being nice?

    I know online dating is a jungle. I’ve been doing it for more than a decade, sometimes with success and sometimes not.

    Recently, I was being nice to a woman as usual just talking about her interests on a site [POF]. At one point, she said the online site wasn’t going well, that she apparently received a lot of messages from rude men.

    But then she became rude to me for no reason. She suddenly messaged me that she hopes I find what I want. I was a little dumbfounded because I thought the chat was going well. I messaged her once more just to be sure she didn’t want any more communication, just asking if she grew up in the area.

    Then, she blocked me.

    OK, I know not to take this personally. But I don’t get blocked since I’m not one of those men who immediately talks about supposedly how endowed he is and how she would be lucky to be with him. So this kind of threw me.

    Has anyone else ever been blocked on a dating site after being nice and not the typical sex-hungry guy?

    bguy
    bguy
    Participant
    August 3, 2017 at 12:58 am #144117

    I’ll just add that if she had not replied to my second message that would be fine. I would take the hint that she didn’t like me for whatever reason. But there was no reason to block me. All I did was ask a simple question to make sure it was clear she didn’t want me messaging her anymore [her loss].
    It wasn’t really clear with the message in which she stated she hoped I found what I wanted – that could mean she didn’t want to date but might still be open to being friendly. Blocking in this case seems rude and over the top.


    jeffgranby
    Participant
    August 4, 2017 at 11:32 am #144292

    You should be nice but not too nice I mean in my experience that scares girls off.. For some reason they like jerks who are good men. Or maybe she is just stupid and doesn’t know what she wants

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    August 4, 2017 at 11:43 am #144296

    without knowing the details of the conversations – it’s impossible to tell.
    a comment ould’ve been taken the wrong way.
    maybe she had a bad day (be it dating or reali life) and just had to lash out for some reason or was over-sensitive.

    the key here is this… the biggest mistake we ALL make is to assume OUR perspective is reality. Yes.. YOU may have thought things were “going well” but she may not have. Reality is the reality/perspective of ALL parties, not just our own. So.. you might have missed something ( you probaly did).

    The comment about being “too nice” is also true. “too nice” can come off as creepy especially to females. I can’t explain it more than – females have a completely different standard experience than guys when it comes to heterosexual dating – so they’ve “learned” and “developed” certain defense mechanisms that us males will never underestand. “nice” is usually not a positive, especially “too nice”.


    TengoBea
    Participant
    August 4, 2017 at 5:35 pm #144350

    Hey man its alright, if you guyes didnt met each other and cough feelings than youre good, it happenes sometimes but thrust me, you will forget about her


    CantCY
    Participant
    August 14, 2017 at 10:54 pm #145486

    It could be something as simple as she sees you online to much.


    anna9313
    Participant
    August 15, 2017 at 2:46 am #145508

    Goodmorbing. Unfortunately we don’t knie whi is really behind a computer or phone screen even thogh there might be a picture. We dont know what is going on. So the best you can do is not to have any hard feelings ☺