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katrina26ParticipantFebruary 17, 2013 at 10:28 am #22856
Boyfriend broke up with me no valid excuse
My boyfriend of 2 months just dumped me 4 days ago. Let me start off by saying that heis 21 and im 20 first relationship for me and first serious gf for him. We spent holidays together and he used to treat me like a princess took me on nice dates cooked for me respected me, and everything i can ask for. I didnt ask to get an i love you yet because i dont think it was enough time for him to fall in love because he had past relationships which didnt workout however i do love him. Last saturday we had a nice date and we were already planning for our valentines date he already had my gift and i had his. 4 days out of the blue moon he says that we should stop seeing each other because we have nothing i common and because he didnt fall in love with me note that he treated me like he did. He said that he doesn’t want to hurt me more in the future and that he might end up cheating on me since he doesn’t love me. The only thing that called my attention was that during the last 2 weeks he stopped texting me frequently and didnt seem he wanted to hang out with me but when we did he treated me like he always did. What could have happen? He says its not my fault and that i was the best gf he ever had? On the same hand, one of our common friends told me he is sad so i dont get this? Helppp
BerryCrazyParticipantFebruary 18, 2013 at 1:55 am #22859
Let him know how you feel, leave the door open, and then back off. Either he still has feelings for you and will come around or it’s for the best and he’s putting an end to something his heart wasn’t 100% in. Staying in a relationship with someone whose feeling are only lukewarm toward you is a painful way to live. More painful than the broken heart you have now. 😡
abbystheoneParticipantFebruary 19, 2013 at 9:00 pm #23104
Hmmmm…I think a guy can really like you and treat you like a million dollars, but that doesn’t mean he’s in love with you. What I don’t get is that he’s breaking up with you because he’s not in love with you? Who says you need to be in love to have a relationship? Looks like he’s thinking of an excuse to move on. Here’s another indicator: he stopped texting and didn’t want to hang out. Uggg…I hate when guys say “it’s not your fault baby…you’re a a great GF”!
Ya…well if i’m such a great gf then wtf are you breaking up with me?
Another way for taking the easy way out and not having the balls to say they just aren’t as in to us as we are them!
Well…you got my take on it…good luck!
AriannaJonesParticipantMarch 8, 2013 at 5:08 pm #25368
a couple things, 1) Dating during the holidays has a ton of pressure of “faking” a great relationship when love and bonding is in the air.
2) you’re not in love. You’re upset you’ve been dumped and would like to find a reason to fight for his attention again.
3) he’s new to the dating scene and so are you, he may have got scared and backed off because he didn’t know what was expected of him in the future.
4) be his friend, get to know him on a casual level, this takes time but don’t try to “fix” anything. He started ignoring you because that’s the only way he knew to clear his mind.
5) Yea he’s going to be sad, why wouldn’t he be? His emotions are going up and down and he’s not sure which way is up.
I hope you two are able to accept some things and grow from others in this case. Don’t force anything that isn’t meant to be, try to meet new people and find a more balanced relationship in the future. But first, always know yourself and what YOU’RE looking for in a guy, not what a guy is looking for in a woman.
slobeachboyParticipantMarch 10, 2013 at 12:23 am #25382
First of all when a guy says “its over” (or a girl) its never “out of the blue”. By the time someone calls off the relationship they’ve actually been thinking about it for quite a while. I’m sure the signs were there and you just didn’t let yourself see them. Also when a person breaks up with their partner they virtually NEVER give the true reason for the break-up. For example a guy might say that he’s just not ready for a commitment when the truth is he just doesn’t want to commit to you. This particular lie by the way is why so many women are under the mistaken impression that most men are afraid of commitment. Anyway the real reason for the breakup is always that the person is just not feelin’ it anymore, if they ever did to begin with. But to save your feelings they will make up some other less personal reason, usually something that has at least some truth to it to make it more believable. Unfortnately this strategy always makes things worse because it leaves the dumped party thinking that maybe they have a chance of getting the person back if they can change those circumstances or change something about themselves. Of course in your case the guy was completely honest with you about why he’s leaving you and you still dont beleive it. Anyway if a guy puts off the breakup for a long time and then lies about why to save your feelings at least it means he has a conscience. A bad guy on the other hand will prolong the relationship because he can still get something out of it, such as money or a place to live or just the sex. Of course even good guys need sex everyday, much like you need food everyday to survive. So sometimes they will convince themselves that they like a girl more than they really do in order to have a steady sexual relationship and not have to feel guilty about it. Deep down though he knows he’s only going to be with her until someone he really likes comes along. It’s just the curse of having a male sex drive. So the bad guys will lie to you to get it and the good guys will lie to themselves to get it. Which brings me to my next point. There is more than a fair chance that your boyfriend met someone else before he decided to break up with you. By the way, I have to say, 2 months barely constitutes being in a steady relationship and this guy may have never really been “all in” to begin with. Anyway if he did meet someone else don’t let yourself get into that unhealthy place where you are asking yourself what you could have done differently. Also when a relationship is really right nobody can steal anyone away from you. It means that the relationship was going to fail eventually anyway, and as far as I’m concerned its always better to find out sooner than later. The bottom line is it’s OVER and its time for you to stop torturing yourself and get on with your life.
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