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kitkat42ParticipantJuly 17, 2017 at 11:33 pm #142422
Okay. So. I’m dating this guy from Australia. I’m from the US. I lived in Australia for a year so like I know him it’s not just an online thing. But it is long distance. When I was physically there with him it was lovely, but I am losing my mind now. He calls me every day when it’s the middle of the night for him just so he can talk to me. It sounds cute but it’s getting annoying. He’s paranoid and overreacts to everything. I don’t want to be rude but the fact is I’m a graduate student and he dropped out of the equivalent of middle school so I can’t have interesting conversations with him. He believes in ghosts and thinks that if you refrigerate cooked chicken it will become raw again. He calls me cute for everything that I do but I’m not a baby or a puppy and I want to be treated like a woman. The thing is. He’s severely depressed and suicidal. He has no friends and his family is abusive. I don’t want to hurt him but I am seriously losing my mind here. I know I sound like a bitch.
kitkat42ParticipantJuly 17, 2017 at 11:36 pm #142423
I hate that I’m feeling such horrible feelings and I’m disgusted with myself. He wants to marry me and have kids and everything… on the surface he really is an amazing guy. He’s sweet and kind and accepting. But he’s too dependent on me. I need to get away. But how do I do that without crushing him?
Maximillian MichaelsParticipantJuly 18, 2017 at 2:40 am #142426
You’re going to crush him either way. You entered into a relationship with what sounds like a manipulative crazy. Accept your role in this.
Now, you can tell him the truth and say you don’t want to continue talking to him or you can cook up an excuse that you don’t have the time for this relationship because of grad school, etc.
Either way, stop putting effort into this dysfunctional arrangement. He’s not an amazing guy – you’re deluding yourself.
Don’t take his threats of suicide seriously. He’s using this to manipulate you. If someone is serious about that kind of thing, it’s done secretly.
I can’t believe you still talk to this crazy guy. I’d write him a long email, explaining how you truly feel, and then block him.
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