Breaking off casual relationship but it still hurts

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Breaking off casual relationship but it still hurts

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Athos1022
    Participant
    April 22, 2017 at 3:02 pm #134079
    Breaking off casual relationship but it still hurts

    I met this guy on OkCupid last April, we spoke for about three months until we finally went out on our first date. At first we went out every week then slowly it became less and less. Once every few weeks to once or so every couple of months. I tried to break it off a few months into dating because I wanted more of a steady commitment but he wasn’t ready for something serious but never said he didn’t see what we had not becoming serious in time. So we continued seeing eachother when possible until I eventually broke things off last night (I’m hoping for good this time). A year later we are still casually dating when his work permit, I know months ago we had another talk and he said that he knew his main issue was that he was just so stuck in his way which was a reason he wasn’t ready for something more serious. I fell for him and he gives mixed signals (misses me, still wants to see me, etc.).

    Did I make the right choice? I regret it, maybe I was okay coasting along until he changed.


    jj91
    Participant
    April 22, 2017 at 5:37 pm #134080

    I’m sorry 🙁
    It’s always going to be hard when there are feelings involved.
    Currently I am casually dating someone I like and would eventually like to be in a relationship with. It’s ok right now because we have only met a month ago. But, I wouldn’t be able to casually date for over 6 months.
    I feel like you made the right choice. It’s hard, but in the long term this is not what you want from this guy. Hang in there!


    Athos1022
    Participant
    April 22, 2017 at 5:50 pm #134081

    Thanks, it is pretty tough because it’s all so fresh and raw right now. I know deep down that I couldn’t stick around with someone that was unsure but it was just complicated when he’d give mixed signals about how he viewed the “relationship” if you can call it that. I guess a small part of me hopes he gets it together and tries to get in touch down the line. That’s another one of my fears, that I’m going to cave in a few weeks or few months and try to reach out to him.


    Benzasatto
    Participant
    April 23, 2017 at 4:55 am #134084

    I think you have made the right choice, difficult as it is. I believe it’s really normal to feel unsure after the fact. You can feel strong when you make the decision and then other feelings come in later on to make you want to question everything. Stay with yourself, be kind to yourself, it will pass, all of these feelings.


    Athos1022
    Participant
    April 24, 2017 at 9:14 am #134103

    Thanks everyone for the advice and the reassurance that I did make the right choice when I did. I guess this will hurt for awhile, all new to me but I’m just going to try and push forward. I also think that there is that slight part of me that hopes maybe this turns a light switch on in his head and he realizes he should change but of course that’s just me over thinking it because it is still all so fresh. Thanks again.


    Athos1022
    Participant
    April 24, 2017 at 9:14 am #134104

    Thanks for the reassurance that I made the right call when I did, I guess it will hurt for awhile (all still new to me) but I’ll just keep pushing along. I guess there will still be that small part of me that hopes this finally gets him to break out of his habits and see that he wants to make the effort but I know that’s just me being silly because it’s all still fresh.