Can she have sleep-overs with her guy-friends?

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Can she have sleep-overs with her guy-friends?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    leadbetter
    Participant
    July 6, 2015 at 7:20 pm #82057
    Can she have sleep-overs with her guy-friends?

    Thanks for reading this and I’ll try to keep it short. I had to go out of town for a few weeks, but still spoke to my girlfriend (of two years) multiple times a day. One day I could tell she was planning something that evening but she refused to explain what it was. I had an uneasy feeling and asked her for an hour to please come clean. Her initial response was that her plans were none of my business. I was shocked, until she came clean that she was spending the weekend with a guy-friend (who I’ve never met) and was picking him up from the airport that night. She then proceeded to spend the weekend with the guy (while I’m still out of town). Fast forward to today – she promises that they were only friends and says she didn’t cheat. I feel that she’s damaged my trust in her. She says that I’m the problem – if I love her I should trust that she’d never cheat, even while ‘staying over’ with guy friends. Is she right, or has she crossed a line?


    Mr Clean 88
    Participant
    July 9, 2015 at 8:59 am #82417

    If you’re asking, then already know the answer. Dump her in a heart beat! First she wouldn’t tell you, and he just happens to visit while you’re out of town? Unless he’s gay, you have a serious problem with this girl.


    ZLink9015
    Participant
    July 11, 2015 at 1:42 pm #82648

    If I was in your situation, IMO I would thread carefully.
    1) If she was truly cheating on you, I don’t think she would have told you.
    2) The problem is her, she definitely jeopardize your relationship and trust. She knew that it would be an issue and tried to keep it from you.
    3) Reverse the role on her, IF you had stayed at a “girl” friend’s house, BELIEVE THAT she will be all up in your grill for it.


    leesee27
    Participant
    July 11, 2015 at 1:57 pm #82649

    I think the way she was not upfront initially and the fact you haven’t met him gives you a right to be upset. Personally, I have a lot of male friends, and my boyfriend has met most of them. I’m very platonic with my friends, and he trusts me. However, I would not by any means jeopardized my relationship like she did.

    I’d try and talk to her rationally about it. I feel like the fact she’s placing the blame on you for being untrusting is reason enough to believe she’s not being 100% truthful.


    CM2014
    Participant
    July 11, 2015 at 8:11 pm #82666

    I think you deserve better honestly. I think what she did was very disrespectful and showed no concern for you or your feelings. I think she’s just telling you what you want to hear. I definitely think there’s more to the story. The fact that she was replied it’s none of your business is a major red flag. How would she feel if you had sleep over with one of your female friends while she’s out of town. You deserve better I’d go ahead and leave her. Better safe than sorry.


    stephensproject
    Participant
    July 11, 2015 at 10:11 pm #82668

    You know the answer to your question already… You just can’t get yourself to believe it.


    csilberman
    Participant
    July 12, 2015 at 5:07 pm #82674

    I agree. Red flag that she said none of your business.


    coldpillow
    Participant
    July 14, 2015 at 10:20 am #82770

    Agree with the above. Not good.


    webhead
    Participant
    July 15, 2015 at 1:47 am #82795

    DITCH THE BITCH, MAKE THE SWITCH. YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR HER, YOU DESERVE BETTER.


    sarah84
    Participant
    July 19, 2015 at 11:03 am #83016
    Reply To: Can she have sleep-overs with her guy-friends?

    The big problem with this story is that she kept it from you, and that’s what you have to explore. Either she does have something to hide, or perhaps she’s scared of an overreaction from you – has this happened before?

    The act itself of having a male friend to stay for the weekend isn’t a big deal, IMO, as long as she is faithful and her intentions are clear.

    Also, an we stop calling women bitches? ^^^

    BenEaster
    BenEaster
    Participant
    July 20, 2015 at 2:52 am #83033
    Reply To: Can she have sleep-overs with her guy-friends?

    If you want to do something about this situation, you have to understand and be ok with the fact that she may have cheated, even if only emotionally.

    If that is ok with you, continue reading, otherwise you might as well cut your losses. There was a violation of trust in one way or another. Now will you take responsibility for it? That’s the question.

    If you are ready to take responsibility then you can continue on in this choose your own adventure:

    If you want to accept what happened and fix your relationship, now would be a good time to realize that if she drifted away from you and into another man’s arms, she did it because she has some need(s) that she isn’t getting satisfied by you. You can step up and fulfill her needs and you can get her back by your side. If she hasn’t told you about cheating and wants you to drop it, then you still have the advantage over another man.

    Give her what she needs and she’ll stay with you, otherwise don’t resent her for going elsewhere.


    Drake619
    Participant
    July 20, 2015 at 5:39 pm #83061
    Reply To: Can she have sleep-overs with her guy-friends?

    I think you as a boyfriend have the right to know and she needs to be honest about her intentions.


    SixStringer91
    Participant
    July 22, 2015 at 12:49 pm #83138
    Reply To: Can she have sleep-overs with her guy-friends?

    Deal breaker!


    someguy
    Participant
    July 22, 2015 at 2:23 pm #83140
    Reply To: Can she have sleep-overs with her guy-friends?

    I have to reiterate and agree with the others here. It does ring alarm bells.


    heavengraham
    Participant
    July 22, 2015 at 10:36 pm #83151
    Reply To: Can she have sleep-overs with her guy-friends?

    Deal breaker dude, she should know much better.

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