Can't figure out what he's thinking

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Can't figure out what he's thinking

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    jet8419
    Participant
    August 29, 2015 at 9:52 pm #84930
    Can't figure out what he's thinking

    There was a co-worker who was giving really mixed signals last year and we left off as just friends after our last date (we went out a few times) in July 2014. There was no contact since other than we are on each other’s FB. Early this year, I moved to another state for work and he suddenly messaged me asking how I’ve been. There was a short exchange between us, ending with him saying he’s been the same and nothing’s changed. Then no contact for 2 months other than a birthday meme he posted on FB for my birthday (which he’s never done in the years we’ve known each other). Fast forward to last week. I texted him regarding some work stuff and he asked about how i’m holding up in reference to something I posted on FB 2 days before and he brought up things from long ago like how he remembered I was unsure about moving, things about my apartment etc. He knows I’m shifting back end of the year but hasn’t said much else. I just can’t figure him out… Please advise.


    BeanNCats
    Participant
    August 30, 2015 at 4:57 pm #84940

    Hi, I am not really good at figuring people out which is kinda why I am here but it sounds like he at least wants to keep communication open with you. I obviously cannot say for sure what the motivation is because I am not him nor do I know the situation well enough but he’s thinking of you enough to be prompted to message. He could just want to be friends maybe more but again it does sound like he’s thinking of you.

    princessjasmine
    princessjasmine
    Participant
    August 30, 2015 at 8:24 pm #84945

    My strategy in mixed signal situations like yours is always to play it cool. I give the otheer person the benefit of the doubt and i let it play out. its never rude or embarrassing to show interest in someone, so dont be afraid to initiate conversations. think of it as if the roles r reversed, how u would feel if he did certain things, or what u would mean if u were giving off the signals he is now. GOODLUCK

    WTFIMIK
    WTFIMIK
    Participant
    August 31, 2015 at 6:42 pm #84982

    My guess is he isn’t sure what he wants. That, or he wants to have sex but doesn’t have practice propositioning yet. When there’s moving involved it’s rare for an actual relationship to be preferred. To much work and guys are lazy. Also with FaceBook…well, I’ve learned not to trust it. Ever. Don’t get your hopes too high.


    caliliving95
    Participant
    September 4, 2015 at 5:33 pm #85135

    Sounds like hes not interested, i dont think a man who likes a girl would go 2 months without contact.


    angelita_j
    Participant
    September 7, 2015 at 10:52 pm #85253

    Too many mixed signals. not worth it! Don’t stress over a guy that’s not going to give you his full attention. I mean why would he let so much time go on between the messages if he’s actually interested?


    jet8419
    Participant
    September 8, 2015 at 1:04 am #85259

    Thanks everyone! I probably haven’t got much time to bother about him at this stage anyway due to my busy work schedule. I think like what some of you mentioned, he may not know what he wants, or he’s not interested, or it’s just no point doing anything now since we aren’t living in the same city at the moment. He’s told me about his past experience with 2 girls and he was saying good things about the first ex (she’s happily married to someone else now), and told me a bit on what kind of person she was, who was shockingly very similar to me. They are still very good friends but not in contact much. As for the 2nd ex, he kinda criticised her and said she’s not what he’s looking for – he’s looking for someone similar to the first ex in terms of personality and intelligence. But yeah… no point wasting time on someone with so many mixed signals I suppose.


    Semsem371
    Participant
    September 8, 2015 at 5:05 pm #85290

    If you really like him keep him as an option and talk to other guys dont juat aolely focus on him and play it cool and just see if he makes any moves