"Chatted/seeing" guy for 6 months, hes still on dating site still?

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"Chatted/seeing" guy for 6 months, hes still on dating site still?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    YayArea86
    Participant
    July 10, 2014 at 11:25 am #57055
    "Chatted/seeing" guy for 6 months, hes still on dating site still?

    Hey threaders! I’ve been chatting with a guy since about January 2014. We went on a date/hooked up towards the end of the month in January. From there, we had awesome text threads and would see each other once a week (weekends), to every other week, to even one point three weeks (for about 4 or 5 months). We’ve had awesome text’s in the beginning but I began to pull away. He would say he missed me…now…not so much (it’s June/July now). However, the tables have turned as I am more invested and interested.

    About a month ago I asked where this is headed as dating/relationships is all new to me at 27. He has had 2 relationships himself while dating around. He said we are technically ‘dating’. About a week ago (July 4th weekend), I had asked if he wanted to be more exclusive and to get him off his okCupid account as it stated he was still single and he said he liked the direction we are headed in but wasn’t ready yet and only used OkCupid to chat and make friends. Continue reading…


    YayArea86
    Participant
    July 10, 2014 at 11:30 am #57057

    During “the talk” I told him it made me uncomfortable that he was “single” and his bio part of the profile talks about soaking everything in, meeting friends and a potential relationship. I told he that I like him, putting my feelings out on the table…and that I know he was still on OkCupid made me “uneasy” but I said I also know we aren’t official so I can’t tell him to “GTFO” the site. He also made the analogy that we are like a book…I’m on the right side of the page while he is on the left but liked the direction we are headed in (which my friends thought was dumb).

    Well, I’m at a loss. It’s a learning experience if all fails but should I back off or just end it? I have been seeing him MORE the last two weeks and even having him sleep over. We facetime, we chat…BUT I know he’s been ramping up his OkCupid login’s (via my friends tell me). He came over one night suddenly to leave to get something…and behold…my friend tells me he’s on. I hate to keep tabs as it’s eating away


    YayArea86
    Participant
    July 11, 2014 at 8:27 am #57058

    eating away at me but basically I feel like it’s driving me nuts. Trust is important in building a relationship. People say go with your “gut” and as much as I trust he isn’t actually seeing other guys (or so I think)…it makes me feel like I am just his option. I want to trust him but my friends are saying “he’s crazy” for not know I am a catch.

    What do I do? I actually got him flowers and a small gift too…so I just feel like things are not balanced at all. Is he being a jerk? I just feel confused and I want to end it sometimes BUT when i’m with him those feelings go away. We are gay at the end of the day and he said “he’d be honest” but a lot of guys say that…heck…I say that….and we lie. So is he REALLY on OkCupid still to “make friends” or is he just keeping me around while he’s looking for the one? Why tell me we are headed in the right direction?

    If one was truly into me, wouldn’t they NOT have to be on OkCupid? *sigh* Advice me people! Thank you!


    YayArea86
    Participant
    July 11, 2014 at 8:29 am #57059

    eating away at me but basically I feel like it’s driving me nuts. Trust is important in building a relationship. People say go with your “gut” and as much as I trust he isn’t actually seeing other guys (or so I think)…it makes me feel like I am just his option. I want to trust him but my friends are saying “he’s crazy” for not know I am a catch.

    What do I do? I actually got him flowers and a small gift too…so I just feel like things are not balanced at all. Is he being a jerk? I just feel confused and I want to end it sometimes BUT when i’m with him those feelings go away. We are gay at the end of the day and he said “he’d be honest” but a lot of guys say that…heck…I say that….and we lie. So is he REALLY on OkCupid still to “make friends” or is he just keeping me around while he’s looking for the one? Why tell me we are headed in the right direction?

    If one was truly into me, wouldn’t they NOT have to be on OkCupid? *sigh* Advice me people! Thank you!

    During “the talk” I told him it made me uncomfortable that he was “single” and his bio part of the profile talks about soaking everything in, meeting friends and a potential relationship. I told he that I like him, putting my feelings out on the table…and that I know he was still on OkCupid made me “uneasy” but I said I also know we aren’t official so I can’t tell him to “GTFO” the site. He also made the analogy that we are like a book…I’m on the right side of the page while he is on the left but liked the direction we are headed in (which my friends thought was dumb).
    Well, I’m at a loss. It’s a learning experience if all fails but should I back off or just end it? I have been seeing him MORE the last two weeks and even having him sleep over. We facetime, we chat…BUT I know he’s been ramping up his OkCupid login’s (via my friends tell me). He came over one night suddenly to leave to get something…and behold…my friend tells me he’s on. I hate to keep tabs as it’s eating away


    oregongal
    Participant
    July 12, 2014 at 10:40 pm #57332

    Sorry to say that he doesn’t sound all that invested in you. He wants to keep his options open. Maybe one woman will never be enough, but at least you should be aware that what you two have is not enough to keep him faithful to you.


    mozilla
    Participant
    October 2, 2014 at 8:17 pm #65254

    6 months is a long time… perhaps he has commitment issues? I would lose interest after a month of steady dating.