Cheating or Not

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Cheating or Not

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Hank77
    Participant
    December 29, 2014 at 6:42 pm #69710
    Cheating or Not

    I have a bit of a dilema. I have known this girl which was working at my workplace and we became friends. Started hanging out but we never dated because I was getting over my divorce and she is younger than me. We became very close and were sexually active on and off. I helped her with everything in her life, from finding a new job, helping her build her credit, buy a new car. I didn’t pay for any of those things, but the last two years were close in our life’s. I found out that this whole time she was talking to other guys and having relationships with them, and is taking to guy now. . Since we where never together I don’t know if I should be as hurt and upset as I am, I feel like she cheated on me, But the worst part I feel like she used me. Should i confront her and break off the friendship or just not say anything and break it off.

    Roxy
    Roxy
    Participant
    December 30, 2014 at 8:07 am #69728

    That is a bit of a dilemma. So this friendship has been going on for 2 years and has there been sexual activity during the whole of these two years? 2 years is a long time for that sort of relationship without any commitment being put on the table. It makes me think she probably feels that it’s been so long and you haven’t asked her to exclusively date so she may think there is no harm in what she’s doing. You obviously care about this girl you should consider whether you should be having a conversation about making you guys exclusive because if you don’t say it how is she meant to know. She hasn’t done anything wrong dating other people but I do think she should have been honest that she is dating other people I think it’s only fair with someone your sexually active with. You need to have an honest discussion with her and consider are you willing to make a commitment to this girl.

    dmj106
    dmj106
    Participant
    December 30, 2014 at 8:50 am #69733

    I would ask her whether or not she would in fact be interested in having more in a relationship first. Asking her where she stands is the first step in determining what exactly your relationship is and whether it’s worth pursuing something further with each other.


    Hank77
    Participant
    December 30, 2014 at 8:07 pm #69749

    I really appreciate your advice. I realized that I should not been so upset, since we were not exclusive. I spoke to her last night, she kind of admitted that she has been talking to guys. But she is telling me that I am the most important person in her life and she wouldn’t know how to live without me. I just dont think she want something exclusive.