Checking someone out before asking them out

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Checking someone out before asking them out

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    DLT57
    Participant
    December 17, 2014 at 6:07 pm #69385
    Checking someone out before asking them out

    I started talking to a woman on a local dating site that is linked to facebook and sense she used her name on the site I checked her facebook ,And noticed that we have a couple of the same friends, would it be wrong to ask them about her before I ask her out on a date?


    cannoteven
    Participant
    December 18, 2014 at 3:42 pm #69435

    I think it’d be alright, but it could come across as weird (or something) if she finds out.
    However, since you two have mutual friends, it wouldn’t be uncommon for a guy to ask his friends about a girl they know. I’d only ask them if they were actually fairly good friends with you, though. If they’re closer to her than you, then they might tell her “hey, there was this guying asking me about you yesterday, do you know who he is?” Which can seem a little creepy, especially if she realizes it’s the guy from her dating site (because she never exactly gave you her facebook).

    If you like her on the site, you could ask her on a date already. Then you get to know her in person, and it wouldn’t seem as weird when you ask your mutual friends what she’s really like.
    If you don’t know her on the site and wouldn’t ask her out as is, then there’s not much point in bothering to ask your mutual friends about her.


    Anonymous
    December 28, 2014 at 2:43 pm #69673

    I totally agree with cannoteven! What if those “facebook friends” are not real friends to her? Why do you need to rely on their opinion? Take a step forward and get her know in person!
    I also have a friend who tried online dating at Kolva.com, and we all thought that this guy was just right for her, and when they finally met they both understood that they had totally different interests and were not attracter to each other.


    scotto
    Participant
    January 18, 2015 at 1:22 am #71205

    If the mutual friends are close friends of yours, you can totally ask how they know here – and depending on how , fill them in that you might go on a date and see their reaction


    dblcsam
    Participant
    January 19, 2015 at 12:29 pm #71247

    Definitely get to know her in person first. Often times, we have acquaintances or people we “friend” on FB that might not really know us at all. I would ask her out on the site and go out once. See what your first impression is and go from there. It would definitely giver her a “creeper” feeling if she found out you were asking around on FB about her.

    allmybunnies
    allmybunnies
    Participant
    January 20, 2015 at 9:19 pm #71332

    I don’t think that be would wrong at all! In my option it would actually make me feel better about him that he is trying to find that I am who I say I am. I met a guy through a language exchange site, and I was able to find good accurate information about him through Google searching, and he was truthful. I felt creepy for being able to do that, but on the flip side, it made me be able to trust him.


    Expat
    Participant
    January 23, 2015 at 12:16 am #71646

    Why would you rely on others’ opinions when your own is free? They could hate her, but you could love her. I don’t see a point in asking them. Would you refuse to meet her if they told you something you didn’t like? No, you’d probably go find out for yourself anyways…


    sam90
    Participant
    February 17, 2015 at 10:07 am #73539

    I think if she is impotant to you you should not ask anybody about her. Ask her anything you want to know yourself. Because if she finds out that you made inquiries she would take offense.


    salman9197
    Participant
    February 20, 2015 at 3:30 am #73764

    Online dating sites use market metaphors to match people. Match Metaphors are conceptual frameworks that allow individuals to make sense of new concepts by drawing upon familiar experiences and frame-works. This metaphor of the marketplace – a place where people go to “shop” for potential romantic partners and to “sell” themselves in hopes of creating a successful romantic relationship – is highlighted by the layout and functionality of online dating websites. The marketplace metaphor may also resonate with participants’ conceptual …


    salman9197
    Participant
    February 20, 2015 at 3:32 am #73765
    Reply To: Checking someone out before asking them out

    Some sites are broad-based, with members coming from a variety of backgrounds looking for different types of relationships. Other sites are more specific, based on the type of members, interests, location, or relationship desired. A 2005 study of data collected by the Pew Internet & American Life Project found that individuals are more likely to use an online dating service if they use the internet for a greater amount of tasks and less likely to use such a service if they …..

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    salman9197
    Participant
    February 20, 2015 at 3:35 am #73766
    Reply To: Checking someone out before asking them out

    frameworks that allow individuals to make sense of new concepts by drawing upon familiar Online dating sites use market metaphors to match people. Match Metaphors are conceptual experiences and frame-works. This metaphor of the marketplace – a place where people go to “shop” for potential romantic partners and to “sell” themselves in hopes of creating a successful romantic relationship – is highlighted by the layout and functionality of online dating websites. The marketplace metaphor may also resonate with participants’ conceptual orientation towards the process of finding a romantic partner.[1] Most sites allow members to upload photos or videos of themselves and browse the photos and videos of others. Sites may offer additional services, such as webcasts, online chat, telephone chat (VOIP), and message boards. Some sites provide free registration, but may offer services which require a monthly fee. Other sites depend on advertising for their revenue.


    Anonymous
    February 20, 2015 at 2:01 pm #73819
    Reply To: Checking someone out before asking them out

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