March 4, 2017 at 3:57 pm #129079
I met this guy I had known briefly from school while on vacation about 5 years ago. As time went on, we got closer and he eventually admitted that he considered me as his bestfriend. However, it was only last summer that we both confessed our feelings, but mom wasn’t very impressed that he isn’t Christian, and especially after he asked to kiss me on the first date. I know religion is important but we have this incredible connection (similar tastes, I would be thinking about him and he would appear and mirroring each other’s emotions). Despite mom disapproving, he would prove himself by surprising me with gifts and deserts, and was by my side when my grandma passed, seeing that I supported him when his dad passed. Mom even asked “Don’t I show you enough love?!”,banned me from speaking to him,threatened to kick me out and told me to end our friendship. Sadly, this meant that we were unable to exchange gifts we bought for each other and both of us feeling extremely hurt.
LostLover91ParticipantMarch 9, 2017 at 12:44 pm #129612
First of all, How old are you? Secondly, parents shouldn’t be guilt-tripping you via religion because the person you’re interested in does not share the same beliefs. Even if a guy was a Christian, doesn’t remove the fact that he MAY be a jerk. I have had a similar situation with my mother and the fact that she didn’t like my boyfriend, so she tried to force me to go hang out with some other guy that she approved of. I do not think that you should follow my footsteps, but this is what we ended up doing. I ended up leaving my mother’s house because she threw a tantrum, I was already working towards finding a new job near my boyfriend’s location he would visit me every other weekend. She did not know this, I was 21 and legally an adult, so this leaves me in a larger advantage. I ended up finding a job around the same city that my boyfriend lived/worked and we have been together for 4 years and living together as well. I do not suggest moving in with him. continued in next comment
LostLover91ParticipantMarch 9, 2017 at 12:50 pm #129613
I suggest that you talk to your mom and let her know your feelings about this guy, he obviously means a lot to you and she might say yeah you’re young and you don’t know what love is, but you guys have already known each other for 5 years. If she doesn’t budge, I would find elsewhere to live on your own (without the guy you like) this will also allow you to explore yourself more and dig deep to find yourself. I feel like spending time away from people that you love sometimes helps with finding what you really want in life. The only problem I see with that is loss of communication with your mom, I know this because I have not spoken to her in a very long time. Maybe you will have a reconciliation with her, she’s scared of losing her little girl and she doesn’t want you to grow up. What does she find offensive about your friend besides his religious status? Does she let you go out on dates or with your friends alone? I had an over protective mother that did not let me think for myselfMarch 10, 2017 at 3:34 pm #129800
I’m 19 turning 20 very soon. Yup I feel like she is guilt tripping me ugh and yes! I know of a few Christian guys who are jerks but my mom doesn’t seem to know that. Oh my gosh…sorry to hear that you went through something similar but that you can empathize with me. Your mom sounds just like my mom in trying to play matchmaker with me and suggesting I marry a Christian lawyer or doctor which is totally wrong cause she’s making it seem like I should only “love” someone for their wealth but that’s not me. I look at the heart. Awwww I’m so glad that you were able to run off with him despite all odds. I wish I could move out but I’m a full time student which makes things even more difficult.Yes I don’t want to move in with him now either only after we get married..I love him so much. LostLover, I’ve explained to her how much I care for him but she is still being difficult about it asking me “What do you see in him?!” Despite the current situation he is still reaching out and getting hisMarch 10, 2017 at 3:46 pm #129805
friends to check in on me…he even called me the other day. Ohhh I understand you..solitude really does help us get our thoughts together away from the noise of everything going on in our lives. And since this whole situation I have found that our relationship isn”t the same and she’s always on my case about the simplest things ughh. Yess!!!! You hit the nail on the head. She is scared of losing me especially seeing that I’m gonna soon graduate in a few years and do adult things. Other than his religious status I don’t know what is her big deal she wants me to marry a rich white guy. Nope she doesn’t let me go on dates my first date was with the same guy and he was even stunned that she let me go. however, since the date a few of my friends invited me out and she said “NO you can’t go!” Having an overprotective mother is the worse makes you feel as though you’re living in bondage. Thanks so much for responding btw 😀
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