Co-worker issue.


Co-worker issue.

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    March 7, 2013 at 3:31 pm #24950
    Co-worker issue.

    Hello everyone, Im in need of advice, as I find myself in a predicament.
    Im going to do my best to make this thread concise, so you guys can give me valuable insight and advice.

    I have been working at this retail store for 10 months, and I am attracted to my female co worker. She had a boyfriend of 5 years, so I did not try pursue her or date her. Didnt even exchanged numbers till the 6th month I was working there. And that was her idea.

    We do have some great/humorous back and forth banter, and our chemistry is good. I would also catch her checking me out from time to time. But like I said, i did not make a direct/obvious romantic approach to her because of the bf.

    Anyway, her boyfriend broke up with her, the day after christmas. As soon as I caught wind of that information, I quickly planned to ask her out on a date. On our next shift, which was 9 days after her break-up, I asked her if I could buy her dinner.

    And her exact words were “I dont want anybody right now, It was a 5 year relationship, its hard”. I was sour, for being rejected (Is that even considered, rejection? IMO its a very vague answer but anything but a yes, is a rejection, no?). But I made sure, I didnt pout in front of her, or anyone for that matter. It’s just not the right/classy thing to do.

    5 days pass, and a guy friend of her’s visits her at work, got a little irritated. So much for her saying “I dont want anyone right now”. Maybe things change in 5 days? But she aint my girl, and Im not about to pout and be that “guy” at the workplace. So i kept a positive facade. I asked another woman out on a date and she said yes. (This other woman, I have known for several months but not majorly interested in her). Next weekend rolled in, co worker saw me dressed nicely. Asked whats the occasion, told her I had a date.

    Fast forward to the present, March.

    The guy that visited my co worker, became her boyfriend 2 weeks after rejecting me. But she broke up with him recently. which made their relationship a 1 month affair.

    I am currently 6 dates in with the other woman, and we enjoy each other’s company. I treat her nice and with respect, she laughs at my corny jokes. But she isnt my girlfriend. Its my co worker who Im still interested in.

    My co-worker is now friendlier to me, and asks me about my lady friend?
    Should I ask her out on a date again? Im hesitant because she did reject me initially, months ago. AND she went into a relationship with someone (albeit briefly), when she clearly told me something different months ago. I should be happy with what I have right now, but Im not. What should I do?

    March 7, 2013 at 6:01 pm #25110

    Bump, because everyone’s thread got trolled.

    Still open for advice.

    March 10, 2013 at 4:13 am #25385

    Well first of all I have to say please try not to lead this other women on. If you are having a physical relationship with her, or even if you’re not, she is likely to fall for you and its not really fair to let that happen when you know for a fact that she is just a consolation prize to you and never has a chance to be more. And as for your coworker I personally would not asked her out again. If she went out with another guy just days after turning you down and then got involved with him then its extremely unlikely that she is interested in you. I would know for sure if I was actually there at the time because I’m good at reading people but just the circumstances alone are enough to tell me that you’re wasting your time with this girl and you should drop her like a bad habit.

    March 19, 2013 at 2:56 pm #26228

    Agreed, dump this girl you’re leading on. It’s not fair. You think by dangling this “gf” in front of the coworker will do anything, it’ll only make her run further away. Remember, girls don’t do the chasing.

    Also, stay single for a little bit. You don’t have the right mindset to be “seeing” anyone. Give yourself time to learn about yourself and what you really want– which is really neither of these girls. You’re looking for a trophy to place on your shelf and women shouldn’t be treated that way.

    March 22, 2013 at 11:03 am #26662

    Stickk with one girl, less drama.