Complicated

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Complicated

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Remjos
    Participant
    April 17, 2017 at 10:10 am #133444
    Complicated

    Well this is a tough one. I’m asking you girls, because you probably now best for me what to think or what to do. You could call her the one that got away. Me and a girl like eachother alot, she told one of my friends she had a major crush on me in High School. We started dating and it was fun, but somewhere we both fucked it up. I got a little needy and she lied about a couple of things, lying to my friends. She also later confessed to me she can like a guy, one week later not like him and a week later like him again. All of it bassically exploded to the point where i said. I rather not see you anymore. Painfull as this was, because i really really liked her.

    We didn’t speak for about 5 years. Both got in another relationship that failed 4 years in. She asked one of my best friends how i was doing, after her relationship was over. We saw eachother at a party, chatted a bit. And then we kind of mailed (facebook) to eachother why we did what we did and appoligized.


    Remjos
    Participant
    April 17, 2017 at 10:12 am #133445

    So we kept chatting a bit, but i still felt weird about it all, not knowing if she changed at all. And then i kind of say stupid shit. We met at a wedding and some family of her asked of we were together. I laughed a bit and she was like no no. But when i said i don’t make any illusions about this, she suddenly got kind of sad and got distant. I kind of felt she was dissapointed by what i said. Important detail is, this was one of the things she lied about. She once said to a good friend when we were dating that we were already a couple, yet the next date we did she was super distant. That kind of bs ^^. She mailed with me quite often on facebook untill that point. After that i had to make the connection more often and it softened out. So some very light mailing eachother on fb and birthday stuff, we mildly keep up. And this went on for like almost 2 years.

    Untill a party a month ago, where we talked, had some fun. She even asked me to come back, for another talk.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    April 17, 2017 at 12:44 pm #133456

    as a guy.. i don’t know friend.. her “on again/off again” – those are the worst kind. she’s basically admitting that she is not one who can or is capable of committing to anybody. that she then “punishes” you for anything minorly construed as dis-disinterest in her and… yeah..

    she’s one of the bad ones my friend. she needs to know every buy wants her, but can’t want any guy completely.

    i’d let this one go except for just fun and “making no illusions” that there is not long-term, permanent, full-fledged relationship here. dating and activity or evern fwb? maybe. i wouldn’t invest more than that with this unreliable, unpredictable, and uncommitted person.


    Remjos
    Participant
    April 18, 2017 at 9:53 am #133446

    I went back, talked a little bit and said goodbyes. I wanted to ask her out, but lightly you know. So afterwards i told her, i work alot at my brother’s place and the city center of where we live is closeby. If you are near, let me know something. She said yes, i’ll visit the place, i’m visiting my aunt alot these days. She said yes two times in that conversation. But then again, it got silent for 2 weeks. She said nothing and i was just waiting. Untill this weekend. I saw her again at a party, we said hi, talked abit. But i didn’t knew she was gonna be there and i don’t want to give her the feeling i’m trying to meet her. So i didn’t ask though on the meet-up. She was with friends and i with mine and she asked again to visit her later at the party to chat. It was allready late, didn’t get the chance to get over there. But met her on the way out, just said goodbye, chatted a bit and left. So that’s where we at now.


    Remjos
    Participant
    April 18, 2017 at 9:53 am #133447

    Fyi: She is a thrue mystery woman, i have found other girls much more predictable. But she is an enigma to me.

    So bassically my question is, was she and is she still interested? Is she silent because i put the bal in her camp and i should just ask her out? Is it simply all too long ago and did i fuck up this perhaps second shot already? Wait, text something or move on?


    Remjos
    Participant
    April 18, 2017 at 9:54 am #133450

    I went back, talked a little bit and said goodbyes. I wanted to ask her out, but lightly you know. So afterwards i told her, i work alot at my brother’s place and the city center of where we live is closeby. If you are near, let me know something. She said yes, i’ll visit the place, i’m visiting my aunt alot these days. She said yes two times in that conversation. But then again, it got silent for 2 weeks. She said nothing and i was just waiting. Untill this weekend. I saw her again at a party, we said hi, talked abit. But i didn’t knew she was gonna be there and i don’t want to give her the feeling i’m trying to meet her. So i didn’t ask though on the meet-up. She was with friends and i with mine and she asked again to visit her later at the party to chat. It was allready late, didn’t get the chance to get over there. But met her on the way out, just said goodbye, chatted a bit and left. So that’s where we at now.

    So we kept chatting a bit, but i still felt weird about it all, not knowing if she changed at all. And then i kind of say stupid shit. We met at a wedding and some family of her asked of we were together. I laughed a bit and she was like no no. But when i said i don’t make any illusions about this, she suddenly got kind of sad and got distant. I kind of felt she was dissapointed by what i said. Important detail is, this was one of the things she lied about. She once said to a good friend when we were dating that we were already a couple, yet the next date we did she was super distant. That kind of bs ^^. She mailed with me quite often on facebook untill that point. After that i had to make the connection more often and it softened out. So some very light mailing eachother on fb and birthday stuff, we mildly keep up. And this went on for like almost 2 years.

    Untill a party a month ago, where we talked, had some fun. She even asked me to come back, for another talk.


    lucy abbey
    Participant
    April 19, 2017 at 5:22 am #133616

    Well this is a tough one. I’m asking you girls, because you probably now best for me what to think or what to do. You could call her the one that got away. Me and a girl like eachother alot, she told one of my friends she had a major crush on me in High School. We started dating and it was fun, but somewhere we both fucked it up. I got a little needy and she lied about a couple of things, lying to my friends. She also later confessed to me she can like a guy, one week later not like him and a week later like him again. All of it bassically exploded to the point where i said. I rather not see you anymore. Painfull as this was, because i really really liked her.

    We didn’t speak for about 5 years. Both got in another relationship that failed 4 years in. She asked one of my best friends how i was doing, after her relationship was over. We saw eachother at a party, chatted a bit. And then we kind of mailed (facebook) to eachother why we did what we did and appoligized.


    stuckonhim21
    Participant
    April 20, 2017 at 3:26 am #133756

    I would say it’s really messed up if her. She obviously Wasn’t ready for a real relationship back then. I’m a hopeless romantic so I always hope for the best and if it’s meant to be it will be..