Confused

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Confused

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    wildkatky
    wildkatky
    Participant
    October 6, 2017 at 4:05 am #151692
    Confused

    We went on a blind date that was set up between my sister and one of her friends. To the best of my knowledge, the idea came about because she wanted to date a “nice guy”, in which I get stereotyped many times. We went out and I was so impressed by her, even though she is very open about the things that she thinks are her flaws. She invited me over, not once, but every night. She didn’t seem clingy at all. I tried my best at everything, and am almost certain that I couldn’t have done much wrong. She may disagree, but I know that she felt it too. So one day, out of no where, I got a single text – essentially telling me goodbye. I know in my heart that she was still in love with her ex and hadn’t gotten over him, but I was willing to be there for her if she was still getting past all of that. I’m not certain if he found out and tried to reel her back in, or if she just wanted me to take a hike, but I’m stuck in limbo. I am convinced that she is right for me, but I don’t know what to do

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    October 6, 2017 at 1:21 pm #151814

    oi.. never be “wiling to be there for them” when it comes to them figurin gout their ex-… that is IMMEDIATE “friend zone”.
    if she’s not over him you keep a bit of distance and only be there for fun stuff. don’t be her sounding board b/c that’s all you’ll ever be.

    basically you’re not in limbo. she’s called it off. most likely to get back with the ex- for any of those reasons.

    you were never a threat to take her b/c you were helping her heal…. which means helping her heal and fix it with her ex- essentially (whether you realized it or not).. or helped her heal to mvoe on from him and find somebody (which will never be the “healing friend”)….

    lesson learned. don’t do it next time. only date them. and.. clue for you.. whenever somebody is “not over their ex-” – don’t allow feelings to develop. anybody not over their ex- means they REALLY want to make it work with their ex-… (otherwise they’d be over them!!!)