Confused

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Confused

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    littlejem
    Participant
    August 4, 2014 at 12:40 pm #58781
    Confused

    I’m not usually confused about dating and I usually know what to do but at the moment I’m confused. There’s a guy I have feelings for but I’m not really sure what the feelings are yet. We had one weird drunken experience once and he tried to sleep with me but I didn’t let anything happen. I didn’t have feelings for him at the time (it was last year). Recently I have had feelings for him though but he’s my housemate now and he’s moving overseas soon. I know there’s little chance of anything serious happening and I’m ok with that but I’d like to have something casual with him. I don’t know how to make this happen though. He’s different from guys I usually go for and I may be a bit intimidated. What should I do?

    steph12117
    steph12117
    Participant
    August 4, 2014 at 4:35 pm #58785

    If you want anything to happen you have to make the move, he is most likely in a position where he thinks you are “prude” because you didn’t fool around with him that one time. What can you do? Well for a start You should ask yourself if you can keep it casual. This is because if you have started to develop feelings for him, when its time for him to leave you will get depressed. But if you really want something purely casual ( basically only physical attraction) then I can give you an idea. Rent the movie “Friends With Benefits” and then tell him something along the lines of: “I really want to see it, I just really don’t want to do it by myself… Hey, lets watch it together!” He will most likely say yes to your offer but if he refuses don’t worry, insist again but do it a little later, this time you should say “Can you please watch it with me?” get a little tipsy and when you are watching it say “This is great, I wish I can do this with someone.” or “Lets try what they’re doing.”


    preifipe
    Participant
    August 13, 2014 at 6:11 pm #59424

    i dont think that he will have a prob to be friends with benefits as long as you like but you must not fall in love with him because he is not the type of man hat he is going to want a relationship

    Leonardo Bustos
    Leonardo Bustos
    Participant
    August 13, 2014 at 7:55 pm #59429

    You need to create a plan that goes something like this:

    1. Plan a time to be alone with him in an inviting environment. Ask him if he wants to watch a movie, like “Friends with Benefits” – or something with a sexual theme. Plan to cook him a romantic candle lit dinner with sexy music.

    2. Gradually start showing more affection towards him a few days before the encounter, a little more touching, a little longer eye contact, perhaps conversation of casual encounters that you’ve both had. Start escalating the sexual banter

    3. Playfully tease each other – offer to share massages – that should get your motors running. I think you can take it from there…


    Ar2114
    Participant
    August 15, 2014 at 3:00 pm #59475

    If you feel some type of way about him you should tell him because words left unspoken may lead you to feel like you need closure once he moves away


    ebrooklynkid
    Participant
    August 15, 2014 at 9:29 pm #59486

    I always think that you should make a move if you really want something to happen. There is a quote that says It is a risk to love, but what if it doesn’t work out? Ah but what if it does?


    breakfreenfly
    Participant
    August 16, 2014 at 1:15 am #59498

    I agree with others, go for it. Life is too short and the what its are never fun.


    cp94
    Participant
    August 16, 2014 at 2:34 pm #59509

    If that is what you want then sit down with him and ask straight out. Guys usually like it when a woman can be direct. If not then don’t worry about it and move on


    annette
    Participant
    August 23, 2014 at 10:58 am #59882

    Well, things are going to be a little weird however you slice it, you two live together! And chances are if you’re feeling it, he is too, since you two are friends and everything!
    However you handle it, be brave! Just talk to him about it in a casual, sober setting! You have to be honest with him and yourself about where you would like to go from here on out. Because something did happen between you two so it’s better that you address it than not. Because if you just pretend like it didn’t happen and he has feelings for you, he might be hurt if you don’t say anything? He may be shy and used a relaxed setting to make a move on you! You never know!

    So just be cool about it, because there’s no going back now, it absolutely happened!


    grover12
    Participant
    August 23, 2014 at 5:23 pm #59887
    Reply To: Confused

    I would so go for it and say something leaving or not. First off so you have no regrets later. I had the same issue. Same circumstances. I didn’t say anything and to find out he shared my feelings but mow he is engaged.


    emmahattie
    Participant
    August 23, 2014 at 11:42 pm #59897
    Reply To: Confused

    If you really want something to happen just go for it, you never know you might regret never saying anything. Just be honest with him and yourself and clearly let him know what you want.


    zekethebro
    Participant
    August 24, 2014 at 12:50 pm #59935
    Reply To: Confused

    Just tell him what you want upfront.

    TylerRandy
    TylerRandy
    Participant
    August 24, 2014 at 6:02 pm #59942
    Reply To: Confused

    be honest


    arris524
    Participant
    August 26, 2014 at 7:46 pm #60188
    Reply To: Confused

    be honest

    bits1366
    bits1366
    Participant
    August 28, 2014 at 3:40 am #60278
    Reply To: Confused

    I agree with everyone else. be direct. Don’t let your feelings be left unspoken. Maybe if you don’t say anything you will always have feelings of regret, and questions in your head , what ifs…. I was in the a somewhat similar situation, I told the guy, got a negative response, took me a full year to really accept and believe I was rejected, but I finally got over it and we are good friends…. so you never know maybe he has had feelings for you too… and if you say it, good things might happen. maybe even something more than casual. be positive. and say whatever you feel like you have to say to him.

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