Confused and frustrated

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Confused and frustrated

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    jeff
    Participant
    October 7, 2014 at 9:59 am #65405
    Confused and frustrated

    Hi all

    i have a bit of a difficult situation… I don’t want anybody to judge me though… i am only human lol.
    Okay here goes.
    I recently met this girl that is just perfect for me in every way… But she has a boyfriend.
    She stays really far from her boyfriend, and very rarely sees him.. As a result, her and myself have gone out twice already. Both times were the best times of my life. We have so much in common, and the both evenings were filled with laughter and good times. Not only that, but on the second time we had quite a few romantic moments… Of which none i had acted on (Other than holding her). This was purely because my conscience wouldn’t let me.
    After these dates, she told me that she really likes me, and needs me in her life. And that I am the most amazing guy she has ever met… but she doesn’t want to cheat. Even though she thinks her relationship is close to ending.
    I don’t know what to do.
    My heart is driving me insane lol… should i tell her to choose?


    Anonymous
    October 7, 2014 at 4:23 pm #65439

    NO,never tell her to chose because you put her into thinking and let face it, if you had a girlfriend and the relantionship in not going well and you meet a girl and you like her and you think she’s amazing but when she tells you you have to chose betwen your girlfriend and her well you will be shock and well you will tell her no and she feel stupid or yes and you will cheat and that not going to be good for you, but you’re going to say no because you have so much time spent with our girlfriend and you are not going to ruined for some attraction that will be over a night(do you understand), I know it’s hard for you but don’t make her to decide with only one question.What you need to do is to date with her as friends(I know it’s not what you want but hear me out) and be yourself,why you have to be yourself?,because if you show her that you are the persone that she wants you practical lying to her and the relantionship will end quikly,when you go out with her be relax,


    Anonymous
    October 7, 2014 at 4:42 pm #65441

    be a gentleman(the basic) and be romantic,how?,talk slow,look into her eyes when she talks,go closer to her when she talks and make an excuse that you can;t hear her (give her the attantion that she needs) if you go for a hug after you split look at her lips,make an excuse to touch her(don’t be a pervet),if she told that she has a boyfriend make her to talk about him(because she will remind all the bad thinks and that he’s not by her side) and don’t become jelos because of that, but if she doesn’t told you that she has a boyfriend well don’t ask about it,be relax,and when she ask you to go out an a date decline three time( not in a row),and the most important when you go for the kiss, go slow then reatret tell her that is wrong but after you go for the kiss even if she says that you’re right or wrong.Now you are thinking if she will cheat with you or not,it doesn’t matter because she will break up with him eventually,and ask about her boyfriend if you want,if you feel comfortable


    Anonymous
    October 7, 2014 at 4:43 pm #65442

    again don’t push her,be yourself,be relax,be a gentelman,be romantic


    jeff
    Participant
    October 8, 2014 at 3:06 am #65462

    Thanks! I read through all your comments, and it makes a lot of sense. I was seriously considering asking her to choose… but now that you mentioned it, it would make sense that it would push her away… and probably not end up choosing me.
    I agree with you that i should go on more “Friend dates” with her.. and see where it ends up. I’m seeing her on Friday again, so I’ll take your advice and let you know how it went.
    Thanks again!


    monkeyrug
    Participant
    October 10, 2014 at 5:58 pm #65693

    I’ve been there and the truth is, it ends poorly. Never with you, and even if it did who is to say she wouldn’t do to you what she does to him?

    Dulu
    Dulu
    Participant
    October 11, 2014 at 5:59 am #65707

    Doesn’t sound like the type of girl you want to be with, seems like she has some fidelity issues.

    Keep doing what you’re doing if you’re enjoying it – don’t let YOUR conscious get in the way. Chances are, she’s waiting for you to kiss her and steal her away.. And, that’s on her – not on you. Just remember this and don’t make the same mistake as her current boyfriend and trust her.


    Anonymous
    October 11, 2014 at 5:10 pm #65720

    hey don’t discourage the guy