Confusing situation with partner, kid, and now someone else..


Confusing situation with partner, kid, and now someone else..

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    October 5, 2015 at 12:26 am #86480
    Confusing situation with partner, kid, and now someone else..

    Met someone 10 months ago and fell in love quickly. She has a child and I was hesitant out of fear of being a horrible “parent”..we were moving that quickly. I had some difficulties with the child and she noticed it. She has now pushed me away for more than 4 month, although we have never stopped communication or being in love. In the interim, she brought someone else into the picture who of course heard that I didn’t have a great relationship with the child and has now latched on to the kid and to her. She doesn’t want me to go away, she isn’t in love with this woman but doesn’t know how to sever the relationship between her child and the other woman. I have done soul searching/recognize my fears with the kid and told her I Want to fix it all/get them back. She’s having a hard time deciding what to do, other woman still comes around and here I sit. . How do I convince her to let the other woman go so that I can prove to her that I am worthy for kid?

    October 15, 2015 at 11:29 am #86910

    I understand that you care deeply for this woman and want to make things work with her. But I feel like there are a few red flags here, most importantly that she brought not one, but two new women around her child within a pretty short space of time. To me it seems like it’s her immaturity that’s created the situation, not your doubts about parenting. It is natural to be hesitant and take things slow when children are involved, and for her to respond to that by cheating on you with someone else whom she immediately introduced to her child? I understand that there are deep feelings involved but I think you should take a step back and seriously reconsider pursuing this relationship.

    October 17, 2015 at 8:08 pm #87008

    it sounds like you’ve spent a great deal of time and consideration evaluating this relationship. When you say you were hesitant, and also that you were moving “that quickly”, those are good to recognize. Involving children (of any age) into your dating relationship is nothing to take lightly. The fact that she is continuously willing to bring people into her child’s life is a red flag. It sounds like she may not actually be ready to ‘deal’ with what ails her or learn and grow from her past. Her stringing you along is also quite selfish. If I were in your shoes I’d take some solo time. Respectfully let her know you’re doing some self growth and feel it best to lay low during the process. What is it in your life that you feel hanging onto someone that is seemingly using you is validated or okay? It’s good to have time to one’s self for clarity. Best wishes!