Controlling boyfriend?

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Controlling boyfriend?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    lovelyem
    lovelyem
    Participant
    June 3, 2014 at 12:43 am #54291
    Controlling boyfriend?

    Okay so me and this guy have been dating, talking, whateva for almost 2 months (pretty close to making it official.) He is 26 & I am 18. Everything is wonderful for the most part, but there’s just one thing.. in the bedroom he plays the controlling/dominating role..like master/slave type stuff…never done this before, always fantasized, but never did it, so I am completely new to this..and I really like it and everything..but that’s only for the bedroom…..
    ..he tells me that I wont ever tell him what to do…which I don’t think is quite fair..because in relationships I really believe you need to have some control over each other..like am I suppose to just sit here and let him do whatever he wants and just be ok with it? like no, I will not do that. We are going through some issues right now and I wont get into them, but I basically told him like this is what I would like from him and he just sternly told me that I wont be telling him what to do. ever.

    lovelyem
    lovelyem
    Participant
    June 3, 2014 at 12:45 am #54292

    Which is going to be very hard for me..I haven’t really said anything about it since, but I am for sure going to. Just want some outside advice! thoughts please?

    Aperture
    Aperture
    Participant
    June 4, 2014 at 9:48 am #54414

    Take that attitude VERY seriously and leave him right now. He might be great at times and the sex may rock, but don’t EVER put up with behavior like that. That is a personality and mental type that will not change. He may start off with just words, but it can quickly escalate into something more. You have thoughts, feelings, a personality, you’re beautiful and above all you DO NOT need to take crap like that from him or anyone else. A relationship is a two way thing. If he can’t handle that basic rule than you need to look elsewhere.


    kjkrunner
    Participant
    June 7, 2014 at 1:25 am #54724

    Wow. You may not be able to tell him what to do, but you sure can tell him where to go! Run away fast before you invest any more time on this jerk. I’m guessing he is dating women considerably younger than himself because the ones his own age with more confidence and experience will not put up with this and neither should you.

    Controlling men are very insecure. You have thoughts and opinions and voice them – this is threatening to him. You cannot change him. Only he can, if he really wants to and that is probably a very long (maybe never) process.

    He will find that the only woman he is happy with is one with low self-esteem who does not think she can do any better than him and lets herself be told what to do by him constantly until she can’t even choose what she will eat for breakfast without his input. That is what he wants. She will never think about leaving him, because he has made her feel that she is worthless and no other man will want her. Do you want to be her?