could i have lost him for good?

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could i have lost him for good?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    nea
    Participant
    September 25, 2014 at 12:22 am #62519
    could i have lost him for good?

    hi,
    so a few months ago i met this amazing guy. but i was in the middle of 500 different things in my life. he got super serious real soon in ways most girls dream of : but i wasnt ready and in a not very nice way i kind of left him. so we recently got back in touch and im in a much more settled space in life. and the more we hang out the more i realize i really, really like him. but he is cool and distant now, i know he likes me, but i also know hes keeping his distance cause he doesn’t trust me just yet. what can i do to make him understand things really are different now? sometimes it gets so frustrating, but im not giving up on it because i know the first time around it was my fault. and i probably deserve this. i dont want to push too hard but im afraid has that feeling he had for me gone for good?


    mi314
    Participant
    September 27, 2014 at 11:50 am #64940

    For me you should talk .. Be honest like super honest no matter how hard it is

    Flotsam_
    Flotsam_
    Participant
    October 1, 2014 at 5:45 pm #65186

    Agree, what you’ve just said is a completely acceptable explanation and you can take it from there afterwards

    yongnato
    yongnato
    Participant
    October 1, 2014 at 9:17 pm #65196

    This kind of problem, the only answer is talk about it. Since you two still do hangout together, I’m sure he still has a feeling for you but he is insecure. He hate to feel the rejection again.

    You should really talk about it with him and treat him specially (don’t exaggerate it though). and make sure he knows it. but like I say, don’t exaggerate it and make your self look needy.

    Do so by for example support what he does, man loves it when woman notice what he does and being supportive. that’s one example of making him feel special, you should research for the other method.

    Hope this helps. 🙂


    nea
    Participant
    October 1, 2014 at 11:47 pm #65200

    thank you guys. well to be honest im just really frustrated about now. hes nowhere near as nice as he used to be. also he’s all over the place, when he’s had a couple of drinks hes super caring and amazing… and then when hes sober he pretty much becomes this insensitive jerk. hes been travelling now and may be taking up a job in another country and says he cant do long distance and wants me to move if we are to do this. that just sounds like an ultimatum to me. sure id move but only if i had some kind of commitment. i cant move my whole life for someone who isnt even sure he wants to be with me right now!!! this is a side i hadnt see last time…in any case hes back in a couple of days and we will be meeting to figure things… at this point im starting to wonder whats that point where you go from repenting to not caring…


    Closybear
    Participant
    October 14, 2014 at 8:47 am #65893

    You just need to be honest with him. It sounds like he has changed his approach towards you because he doesn’t want to scare you off again and enjoys your company. By showing him that you’re not going to disappear again, he’ll feel more trusting towards you, open up more and that’ll lead to him discussing his feelings about you more.