CoWorker/Friend acts interested but has boyfriend

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CoWorker/Friend acts interested but has boyfriend

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    bmv7288
    Participant
    June 26, 2015 at 11:30 pm #81687
    CoWorker/Friend acts interested but has boyfriend

    I have worked with this girl I like for the past 9 or so months and we have become really close friends. We talk and text on a daily basis and occasionally FaceTime. I haven’t told her how I feel but don’t hide it really either. During our whole time at work we talk and flirt and she is always touching me.Everyone I work with thinks we have a “thing.” The only thing keeping me from telling her how I feel is she has a on again off again boyfriend. Should I just come out and tell her even though she has a boyfriend?


    Med
    Participant
    June 28, 2015 at 6:12 pm #81708

    i think you need to consider two things.

    1. what are the chances that she’ll date you despite her on/off boyfriend. Have you ever asked how it’s going with him? If she’s open to dating other guys?
    2. You also need to consider if it’s worth it. You both work together and if it doesn’t work out via either scenario a) you both date but break up or b) she says no. You are going to have to deal with seeing her everyday and possibly having everyone at work know about it. Is that something you can live with? You might even lose the friendship if she finds it awkward.

    I think another thing you should consider is that you state that she “acts interested” but it sounds to me like she’s just being friendly. Some people are naturally flirty without being interested.

    Up to you if it’s worth it.


    datingninja
    Participant
    July 1, 2015 at 8:17 am #81856

    Don’t jump off the company pier. EVER. There are a ton of women out there so don’t risk bringing drama to work. And besides, would you date someone who would cheat on her boyfriend? Maybe you end up dating her, but you know, she did it to that guy, she’ll do it to you.

    tropperdu
    tropperdu
    Participant
    July 1, 2015 at 8:17 am #81862

    You should think about what you’re looking to get out of this. Friends with benefits? Casual dating? A committed relationship? If she’s being very flirtatious with you and in a relationship, there’s no guarantee she’d commit to you.

    So I’d consider that before you decide whether to tell her.


    ConflictedCucumber
    Participant
    July 6, 2015 at 3:55 pm #82043

    I agree entirely with Med. Before doing anything, you need to consider the possible outcomes of the situation. Does she seem happy in the relationship? If not, is it something you want to risk even though she works with you? If you believe that you can handle seeing her at work regardless of the outcome, then I say you should ask her about it.