Dated my bestfriend and now i need help!

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Dated my bestfriend and now i need help!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    HufflepuffAlways02
    Participant
    August 21, 2015 at 2:06 am #84439
    Dated my bestfriend and now i need help!

    his ex found out we were dating and wanted revenge. I ended things because he was confused. he told me he was deciding between me and her ,I took myself out of the equation and they got back together. he tells me later that he fell in love with me for the first time. I felt the same, but I didnt say it back, it wasn’t right.he continued to flirt with me and tell me he still has feelings, but then he would say he loves her.I tried befriending her and letting it all go, but she continues to be nasty towards me. she fights with him about me alot. they are now engaged, and he continues to flirt with me and say inappropriate things to me. I was tired of being a doormat so I started to flirt back. I noticed he really enjoyed it and it escalated.so I called him out on it, I didn’t get much of a response. nothing physical happened, but a lot was said, it took him over a week to finally ask me to stop. I am concerned with him marrying this girl, how do I get him to open his eyes?


    foodwhiskey
    Participant
    August 21, 2015 at 5:50 pm #84541

    I would just stay out of it if you are looking to avoid drama…


    brightmom
    Participant
    August 24, 2015 at 7:43 pm #84692

    I think the fact that he is engaged to someone else and still flirting with you is a huge red flag. How would you feel if the situation was reversed? If he was with you and still flirting with her? I bet you wouldn’t like it either and it would cause issues for your relationship. He sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Not worth your time. If he really wanted to be with you over her he would be.

    bjasonh
    bjasonh
    Participant
    August 25, 2015 at 2:09 am #84699

    I wonder what part of you still wants to engage with him? Is there a part of you that is avoiding moving on and facing the possible reality that he isn’t going to come back to you? I’m sure that’s a reality that would really fuckn hurt, but are you avoiding that possibility by hanging onto the possibility that he “might” come back? It’s hard work to let go of a love you’ve had, but if he doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated, then can you find a way to stand up for what you deserve? Have friends get your back, do things that demonstrate how you love and respect yourself and treat yourself the way someone who really loved you would? Just food for thought. Much <3 in your process through this tough one. Love and relationship is tough! been there! Hang in there.