Dating

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Dating

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Woodstock1987
    Participant
    October 12, 2014 at 2:04 am #65725
    Dating

    Ok so I’m here as an attempt to figure some stuff out. I’ve been told I’m very good at meeting and talking with just about anyone and as a result I attract a lot of female attention. I’ve been flirting heavily with a girl for the last month and figured what the hell, I’ll go for it. Leaned over to kiss her and she stopped me, she told me that she thinks I’m a cool guy and really likes hanging out with me and that we should just keep hanging out and see where it goes (she told me she was single for so long because she got out of a highly abusive relationship) she then asked me to go to her house tomorrow and carve pumpkins.

    This leads into the question I’ve had burning for a long time and never got a fully satisfactory answer. I’ve heard time and time again from girls saying I’m the type of guy you marry, that I’m safe, outgoing, smart, generous, friendly and motivated, but it never leads anywhere even if we do fool around, any insight as to what’s going on?


    tonyl7126
    Participant
    October 12, 2014 at 4:03 am #65726

    Maybe you’re being so nice they don’t feel you challenge them enough?


    Woodstock1987
    Participant
    October 12, 2014 at 9:16 am #65729

    I wonder about that. The only feedback I’ve really gotten is that I’m an intimidating guy, not like physically but with what I’ve done. I’m almost 30 and spent a decent amount of time in the military as an instructor, on the civilian side I teach matrial arts and am a biochemistry major at school with hopes of applying for medical school soon. The only advice I’ve ever heard was through the grapevine of friends of a girl I was seeing, was that she was intimidated by my intelligence, she didn’t think I was smart at first but the more she watched what I did and how I acted, she said she felt like she wasn’t as smart and that I seemed 5 steps ahead when planning things. That’s a common feedback I’ve gotten and I’m not really sure what to think about it. My normal group of friends normally just say, “F*** it dude, your gonna be a doctor, you’ll find someone better.” The supports good, but it really doesn’t give me advice to help me realize what I’m doing, you know?


    tonyl7126
    Participant
    October 12, 2014 at 12:05 pm #65730

    one thing you could do is start dating smarter girls, then you won’t have that problem. My second thought is girls generally want smart guys so it might not be about being much smarter than her (even if you are), maybe it’s more about not being as relatable to her. If all she sees is how well you plan, how good your thought process is, etc… and never sees you show that in your sense of humor (i.e being funny) or your more fun side she might be saying to herself “oh man, I can’t connect with this guy, he must be way too smart for me”. Do you consider yourself a more serious person?


    Woodstock1987
    Participant
    October 13, 2014 at 9:35 am #65737

    I actual follow that rule work hard play hard, a lot of people consider me to be a bit of a clown but that I take my career very seriously though and even though I joke a lot about it, when its game time, my game face comes out and things start moving so ridiculously fast and this is when most girls tell me their ridiculously attracted to me, they like how fast I can take control of a situation but once that moments over they want to see more of it, and its kind of like, there ain’t nothing going on? what am I going to be excited about?.


    Woodstock1987
    Participant
    October 13, 2014 at 9:35 am #65738

    Hmm, I wrote a reply but apparently its not showing up. I tend to be more of a clown though and follow the philosophy of work hard, play hard. I’m dead serious about my career though and although I’m one of the first people to make a joke, when game time shows up I jump right in and ensure the balls rolling as smooth and fast as possible. I’ve been told this is when I’m at my most attractive because of the seriousness that I bring, but when that goes away is when the woman goes away. Most of the times they try keeping me at that high cause they say its extremely exciting and I’ve even had some women that hate me say their extremely attracted to me when I’m like that, but its like what’s there to get excited about all the time you know?


    Woodstock1987
    Participant
    October 13, 2014 at 9:35 am #65748

    I’m give it another go, I tried posting a reply but it didn’t actually show up. Anyways I’m mostly seen as a clown but take my career very seriously. I’m kind of one of the first people to expect to f*** off but also one that everyone expects to have his stuff done and am very good under pressure. One thing I’ve been told is that I’m most attractive when I’m under pressure because I have a tendency to take control of things and organize and categorize everything extremely quickly and get the ball moving with a very authoritative position. Unfortunately I’m told that’s when I’m most attractive and when women see that they want to see more of it and try pushing me into being that person more and more. I’m alright with it when the time calls but when nothings going on, its like why? That tends to be the time when things start going bad.


    Anonymous
    October 14, 2014 at 3:53 am #65860

    Dating is a part of human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship, beyond the level of friendship, or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage.


    Woodstock1987
    Participant
    October 19, 2014 at 12:42 pm #66167

    That’s a very good point, sorry about 3 long responses. I don’t know why but it kept telling me an error occurred.

    The problem I’m having is I made a move on this girl and got rejected, she didn’t say she saw me just as a friend and acknowledged she’s been sending me mixed signals. Afterwards she told me let’s keep hanging out and see where it goes.

    Anyways, we kept hanging out that day and walked after this happened and did something she’s never done before, she broke down crying and told me about her ex. Apparently I have the worst timing in the world because she moved across the country to get away from his physical and verbal abuse (I didn’t know this) and the reason she was late to meet up was because he got her number from facebook and called her. Anyways she said she wants to be single and figure out her life. Do I just hold tight cause she said she wants to hang out and see where it goes, we’ve hung out since but it doesn’t seem the same, she seems extremely reserved now.


    Woodstock1987
    Participant
    October 19, 2014 at 12:49 pm #66168
    Reply To: Dating

    Keep in mind were both 27, we’ve known each other for about a year nowand both have been single for a while. I’m going for med school and she’s going for computer science. The fucked up thing is she destroys me in the math classes we’ve been taking together.