Dating a Best Friend

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Dating a Best Friend

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    SpeckledBird10
    Participant
    February 5, 2014 at 3:38 am #47216
    Dating a Best Friend

    I’ve been friends with a girl about five years. I found out she liked me whole time. I started thinking I had feelings for her too. I was afraid to say anything for fear of trashing our friendship. When I finally did she acted like it thrilled her that I finally came around, but we decided to go slow. I tried to voice honest concerns I had about dating her and instead of being receptive she threw guilt trips on me and tried to make me feel like a terrible friend. We went on one date. She fed me all crap about how terrible her exes were and how “I’m everything she thought she’d want to be with” but she’s too afraid of a relationship. She was also leaving for a brief internship in another country, and that was another reason. Three days later…she has a boyfriend that she barely knows. She doesn’t understand how wrong or dishonest her actions were. I ended our friendship. Am I wrong? She said if I cared I would be her friend no matter what, but I just can’t, not after that deception.


    SpeckledBird10
    Participant
    February 5, 2014 at 3:40 am #47217

    What should I do if she comes back? If she did I would want to forgive her and be together so bad, but I feel like I’ve seen how she really is and she can’t be trusted again. One minute I hate her guts and the air she breathes, but another minute I just want her to come back. I can’t understand how people are capable of treating other people like that and not thinking it’s wrong.


    Takumi Usui
    Participant
    March 2, 2014 at 2:19 pm #48667

    I had the same problem. Well not really but it pretty much went down that road. In my opinion salvaging this won’t save your friendship. Once feelings that go beyond friendship are brought up it can never go back. Move on and just do you.

    alex@NextRSHIP
    alex@NextRSHIP
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 6:08 pm #48724

    What should I do if she comes back? If she did I would want to forgive her and be together so bad, but I feel like I’ve seen how she really is and she can’t be trusted again. One minute I hate her guts and the air she breathes, but another minute I just want her to come back. I can’t understand how people are capable of treating other people like that and not thinking it’s wrong.

    Why would you want to forgive her if she comes back? You’ve answered your own question. It’s only going to cause problems later down the road.

    I would suggest you just move on with life.


    Anonymous
    April 11, 2014 at 6:08 pm #48765

    Basically from my experience, once a person disregard your feelings toward them, there is no way you can’t count on this person never to hurt you again. He/she had done it once, why can’t he/she do it again, after all, person like us forgives over and over again, right?

    The thing is that person would disregard what you feel because she thinks you are angels of angels and she knew exactly that you will the ever forgiving friend that will accept her for what she is. But I hope you realize that once a person treats you like that she will always be like that for the rest of her life. You can still be friends and tolerate her, but at least find someone who will treat you better than her, and find someone who will love you and respect you as a person. Good Luck!


    azureorb
    Participant
    April 11, 2014 at 6:12 pm #49099

    I ended our friendship. Am I wrong? She said if I cared I would be her friend no matter what, but I just can’t, not after that deception.

    No you weren’t wrong. People will say they’re “not ready” for a relationship, and while there may be *some* truth to it, that’s not really what’s up. It’s not that they’re not (that) interested in getting in one with You.

    She could have liked you — your peers could have amplified that, and then when you come around, she feels like she should give you a chance since you’ve been friends — things get weird, she gives you the BS not-ready-for-relationship — and you’re like WTF.

    Don’t go off on her. One of the real reasons you’re upset is because of Rejection. Remember that. It’s natural to feel that way. But also, it’s right not to be friends with her… I’m just saying that you shouldn’t step forward to be enemies and just die out for a while.