Dating a coworker

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Dating a coworker

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    smashingpumpkins
    smashingpumpkins
    Participant
    October 30, 2012 at 9:05 pm #15589
    Dating a coworker

    I recently met an attractive woman about my age who just started not too long ago in my department. She smiles a lot when she’s around me but I’m not sure it’s the best idea to mingle with her? I’m a bit older so the texting or online flirting doesn’t really fly with me.


    fancypants
    Participant
    October 30, 2012 at 9:07 pm #15639

    Look friend. Dating a coworker is almsot never a good idea. unless your life is a sitcom in the vein of the office or madmen, your fling with the cute girl probably will not end well. pepole take sh.t like that seriously and if you f.ck it up, you run the risk of having hte whole office think you’re a jerk


    KrispyPorter
    Participant
    October 30, 2012 at 9:10 pm #15756

    I’d have to agree with fancypants. I’ve been in that situation, and unfortunately, it usually doesn’t work out. The end result: everyone at work is a bit awkward because they don’t know really waht happened. At least in my situation, no one wanted to talk to either of us because neither of us let them know what had happened.

    JoeVL
    JoeVL
    Participant
    October 31, 2012 at 7:24 pm #15757

    Well? What did happen?!


    KrispyPorter
    Participant
    October 31, 2012 at 7:45 pm #15796

    We started coming into work together in the mornings, which I think made him uncomfortable because I don’t think many people knew he was gay. And then when we broke up and stopped coming to work together, people knew something had happened but wanted to give us space, I guess.

    YouGuessedIt
    YouGuessedIt
    Participant
    November 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm #16981

    fancypants wrote:Look friend. Dating a coworker is almsot never a good idea. unless your life is a sitcom in the vein of the office or madmen, your fling with the cute girl probably will not end well. pepole take sh.t like that seriously and if you f.ck it up, you run the risk of having hte whole office think you’re a jerk

    I wouldn’t take all of what you said to heart. It’s a risk you take but if you tell your girl how to be professional in the office you should be fine. Then, if you breakup you already have some ground rules. Don’t let her mess anything up for you at work.

    smashingpumpkins
    smashingpumpkins
    Participant
    November 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm #16986

    KrispyPorter wrote:We started coming into work together in the mornings, which I think made him uncomfortable because I don’t think many people knew he was gay. And then when we broke up and stopped coming to work together, people knew something had happened but wanted to give us space, I guess.

    See I’m nervous about that awkward next day at work. If that happens I don’t think I’d be able to keep it together. I’ve become great friends with my coworker and she’s invited me out with her friends as a casual meetup. I think we’ve kept it very professional.

    carol
    carol
    Participant
    November 22, 2012 at 11:55 am #17119

    Well I met my husband at work. We have been happily married for 8 years. Maybe the key is that even though we both work for the same company, we can go a week without seeing each other at work. We both work in different departments. I met him when our two departments had to work together on a project. We flirted and started to have after work drinks. When the project at work was over, we continued to see each other outside of work since we never ran into each other much during work hours. Long story short. It worked for me.


    Anonymous
    November 27, 2012 at 11:36 pm #17431

    It’s a risk either you are willing to take or not. It’s your job….the place you spend the majority of your day…you have no idea how this girl handles stress in a relationship….she may be the gossipy, backstabbing type, she may be the passive aggressive type where she will sabotage your work environment or she just may be outright aggressive. That’s the main concern….if things don’t work out, if you guys get into a fight or something…you don’t know how she will handle it….it could cost you your job.

    OR….it couldn’t….she could completely end up being someone really mature and stable under stress…

    Either way, it’s a risk….if you are ok losing your job or having a stressful work environment, then go for it! If not, then keep it cool for awhile and just get to know her as a friend….and maybe at some point, the risk will be worth taking with her

    Sharks
    Sharks
    Participant
    November 28, 2012 at 5:05 am #17434
    Reply To: Dating a coworker

    I’d say give it a try, but be very subtle about it. I wouldn’t ask her out on a date until you’re absolutely confident she shows an interest. There’s not much worse than awkwardness at work with another co-worker.

    The best advice I’d give to you would be to start mingling a bit. Maybe gradually become more flirty with her, but don’t be creepy!

    Best of luck!