Dating a guy with trust issues

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Dating a guy with trust issues

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  • sorrycharlie
    Participant
    August 11, 2016 at 1:26 am #107927
    Dating a guy with trust issues

    So I’ve liked this guy for awhile now. I knew him 7 years ago he was the president of the Christian club at my college. I always felt a connection with him. He used to go out of his way to talk to me. I was afraid back then to make a move because I thought me in the gay straight alliance and him running the Christian club he probably wouldn’t go for it. We lost contact for 5 years but recently got back into contact. During these 5 years he’s changed he was recently in jail he explained he’s had an unstable family life. I visited him while he was in jail he explained he’s had a rough life. I admitted that I’ve always had a crush on him. He felt we are too different. He has been hurt by so many people and it’s hard for him to get close to someone. He feels that I don’t trust him. Recently we decided to try a relationship because he feels the same way about me. He said he likes me too. However my Aspergers tendencies have pushed him and I’ve said things that offended him.


    sorrycharlie
    Participant
    August 11, 2016 at 1:27 am #107928

    even though I meant no harm. He’s not a phone person I am I’m used to constant communication. The other night I called him saying how about I call you every night after work and we can talk about how our day was. Instead of finding a compromise he decides to end the relationship he feels we are too different. I made some mistakes: I said I’m used to my friend who’s in accessible at the moment and he said I should be with him. I didn’t mean to offend him by comparing him to my friend. When we agreed to date i said I can’t support him financially he was offended by that because he thought I was thinking he’s a low life. I explained I’m still living with my mom but he knew there was something more. Eventually I explain my friend told me you were homeless (he’s not now he’s in a treatment program that provides him a place to stay) he got mad because he felt I broke his trust. He didn’t like when I said when he was in jail I was debating about visiting him he felt hurt that I would


    sorrycharlie
    Participant
    August 11, 2016 at 8:39 am #107929

    have to think about it he thinks I don’t trust him because I should have went without questioning it. I explained I love you and he says he wants whats best for me in the long run. He just says he’s not ready for a relationship. He feels we have to go our separate ways because I can’t accept that he only wants to be friends. I really like this guy I messaged him today: I know you need space which I will give you just know I am here for you and I’m not going anywhere I’m ready to talk whenever you are. Since he’s going through a lot what should I do? Should I try to be friends with him? Do you think we can date in the future? How would you handle this if you were me? I’m gay and I have Aspergers so this is hard for me


    sorrycharlie
    Participant
    August 11, 2016 at 8:39 am #107930

    I explained I love you and he says he wants whats best for me in the long run. He just says he’s not ready for a relationship. He feels we have to go our separate ways because I can’t accept that he only wants to be friends. I really like this guy I messaged him today: I know you need space which I will give you just know I am here for you and I’m not going anywhere I’m ready to talk whenever you are. Since he’s going through a lot what should I do? Should I try to be friends with him? Do you think we can date in the future? How would you handle this if you were me? I’m gay and I have Aspergers so this is hard for me


    lxwz
    Participant
    August 23, 2016 at 8:49 am #109124

    Wow. Honey, that is Complicated! He doesn’t need or want to be in a relationship right now. He just got out of jail and is trying to make himself better. He needs time to sort his life out. He may very well like you, but you need to step back and just be there for him as a friend. Don’t call him. Don’t text him. Just let him come to you. He is working through a lot of things right now and trying to have a relationship on top of things is impossible. Tell him you think you get it and you’ll give him his space. If he calls or texts it’s up to you to answer, but don’t assume it’s an invitation to start a relationship again. In fact, if he brings it up and his life isn’t at a stable point yet, tell him it might be a better idea to wait a little longer. You probably both have some things you need to figure out about yourselves first.


    tj1750
    Participant
    September 13, 2016 at 3:24 pm #111266

    I think he very well likes you he just needs to find himself and get his life together