Dating a Man with No car

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Dating a Man with No car

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    kec
    Participant
    April 2, 2013 at 4:39 pm #27598
    Dating a Man with No car

    I am seeking some opinions and advice. I am 33, no kids, college educated female. I work as an engineer. I have my own place, car, 401k. Im not where near perfect but I’m a pretty responsible person. It has become clear that I will not find those qualities in a mate in my own age range. So Ive learned to accept a guy that is not educated and just works. Thus far I have required that they at least have a job and a car and place to live. 8 months ago I met this guy who got me with sweetness. He pushed to move in, had a car(ragedy but a car) and a low wage job. We moved in together, and he has paid rent for two months. However, most recently he got stopped and received 4 tickets…for not having a drivers license, running a red light, no insurance, expired registration. He decided to sell the car as he did not think it would pass registration. Now he has no car and is using mine all the time. I like him but should I be sympathic to this situation or kick him to the curb. I am very much leaning towards kicking him to the curb because he is showing me that he is irresponsible. Please dont give me the whole material things dont matter pipe dream advice. Id much appreciate logical realistic advice. I’m not a gold digger as I have held my own since 18 but I’m tired of men that only want to bring problems into my life…..basically just losing the game of life.


    spoodle
    Participant
    April 3, 2013 at 4:20 pm #27689

    Well logically, you’re losing a math equation. It’s probably not just the car that you’re losing money on, it’s the time and investment of adding this extra person on your life-load at the expense of your independence.

    EMotionally, you’re attached and now..feeling guilty that he can’t stand on his own two feet without you.

    My advice: Tell a white lie. Say you’re financially struggling to support ___ factors and you need him to find a place on his own or close to his job so he can still do work. I think you need some space to see if you like this guy for the reasons you liked him in the first place- without being in your space. Evaluate if you see yourself continuing a relationship with him and if it’s worth it or not to continue dating this guy.

    Sticking around for a half assed relationship is no good. He’ll thank you later if you let him off the leash. Or better yet, once you get yourself off the leash.


    kec
    Participant
    April 3, 2013 at 4:56 pm #27700

    Thanks spoodle for such great advice. You hit the nail on the head. I am now emotionally attached and its actually him that wont let up off the leash. I am definitely in need of space! Thanks again.