June 7, 2017 at 9:18 am #138685
So I’ve been dating a guy i met online for around a month, both our profiles were still up. I haven’t been dating anyone else and from what he told me around a week or so ago neither has he. We both have trust issues (he was cheated on by ex wife and ex girlf) and he has told me he is pretty insecure.
We seem to get on really well and have a laugh when we are together, we do have a connection there and the physical sides of things is extremely good. In between dates we do chat on whatsapp/text although maybe not as much as we did when we first started seeing each other
however I noticed today that it appears he has blocked me on the dating site! (checked his profile another way and its still there but he’s not in my inbox/sent items etc anymore) I’m stumped by this, when chatting to a friend she said it’s probably so he can search without me seeing him online…. which is the conclusion I jumped to!June 7, 2017 at 9:20 am #138686
But then again its not like I wasn’t aware he still goes online, and he knows i do as he has mentioned it a couple of times (in a jokey manner). What do you think this means? I’m not sure if i should just ask him but dont want to do it over text…. I feel really angry about it actually, like its really sneaky! Not sure when this happened, we only chatted on WA last night.
Kenneth87ParticipantJune 7, 2017 at 2:21 pm #138756
This is a thing you should just confront him about. Not in a hostile manner, but more in a “This is bothering me, where do we stand?” manner. Don’t confront him like you’ve caught him doing something bad, he may not have had bad intentions and may even have been triggered by something you’ve said or done without confronting you with it.
Communication is important and dealing with this in a constructive way through communication may be the best way to tackle this. For an example, you can both disable your accounts on the dating websites or even take control of each other’s accounts(change each other’s passwords). If he is insecure he may be afraid that you’ll cheat on him so he is keeping his own options open.
I’ve been in a relationship with an insecure girl once, it became a chore. She’d been raped by her ex after they broke up. I sympathized with her a lot, but it simply took too much of a toll on my own life because she always needed validation. Every case of someone being insecure is different though. He may not always be this on guard.
June 8, 2017 at 4:13 pm #138868
- This reply was modified 2 weeks, 2 days ago by Kenneth87.
Thankyou for your comments and advice 🙂 He came over last night but didn’t get round to saying anything just yet, funnily enough we spoke about the dating site and he commented how he used to see me on there loads (I think I used to go on to see if he was online lol) I replied that he must have been there as well if he saw me on there!! None of it was said it an accusatory manner though….
Then he went on to say that he doesn’t see me on there anymore (or words to that effect) which confused me as if he has blocked me then he wouldn’t see me on there!?!? which made me think has he done it by mistake…? I should have maybe just asked there and then but didn’t feel like it was right time. I will take your advice though and mention it in a casual way next time I see him and see what he says, for now I am just gonna carry on as normal.
confused heartParticipantJune 9, 2017 at 4:58 am #139000
I definately would not ask him via text about this. The reaction that your going to get is face to face. Watch for how he responds for example looking you in the eyes, or his body language. If you get on so well, and you want to see what happens this is going to be in the back of your mind. As Kenneth87 said mention it casually but don’t accuse. You need answers my darling. I also feel like he may be talking to a few others as well. I am an intuitive and I am picking this up. I am not saying he’s not genuine but I think he’s hedging his bets. Good luckJune 13, 2017 at 7:54 am #139323
Thanks for your comments. So I did bring this up on Sunday, I brought it up in a casual way. He was actually asking about upgrading his phone and saying how he’s not tech savvy (which he’s not). And then I just asked if he had blocked me on POF, just said I cant see him on there anymore, he said that messages disappear after a while which they do but I said he wasn’t even in my contact history which he should be…. he swears blind he never blocked me and said I would say now if I did….? I said that perhaps he did it by accident. He did seem pretty convincing but then again I’m not great at reading body language etc…. so I really dont know, I did beleive him at the time but then I get these little doubts so really not sure!
iWumbo360ParticipantJune 22, 2017 at 12:18 pm #140316
If everything else seems pretty normal, I’d say definitely just bring it up casually, and without making any crazy accusations. If he still seems into you, just go with it and see where you guys wind up.
takeoffyourheelsParticipantJune 22, 2017 at 5:37 pm #140406
Going to be honest with you, this person is not trustworthy if they block you without any explanation. Have you considered that it was a fake profile just talking to people for fun? Sorry about thatJune 23, 2017 at 6:57 am #140415
It’s not a fake profile, I have actually been seeing him now for 6 weeks. We are both still on the site as we haven’t had ‘the talk’ yet about being exclusive etc, although we both did admit a couple of week ago that we hadn’t been with anyone else since we got together, but not spoke about it since. He has been burnt pretty bad in the past and I know has some serious trust issues and has also suffered depression in the past. I haven’t brought up the whole blocking thing again, just giving him the benefit of the doubt for now and will see what happens.He goes on holiday next week so I think i need to use that week whilst he is away to see how/if he communicates, and more importantly to have some ‘me’ time, catch up with friends etc.June 23, 2017 at 6:59 am #140416
Everything else is great, we get on really well, saw him last night and we ‘cooked’ together (well he bbq’d and I did the salad lol but seemed very domesticated) he even left me alone in his house whilst he drove to get drinkWe’re doing a ‘fun run’ together on Sunday along with his best mate who I will get to meet for the first time, and also he is bringing his kids so it will be interesting to see how he interacts with me in front of them!
andrewsummerParticipantJune 23, 2017 at 8:31 am #140418
Hey lolly880 🙂 Your story is interesting, I believe everything will be great between the two of you. That makes me happy to see that two people met online can get on well together in real life and create positive vibes 🙂
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