Dating after ONE four year relationship…

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Dating after ONE four year relationship…

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    devoidofcuddles
    Participant
    October 9, 2014 at 11:44 pm #65635
    Dating after ONE four year relationship…

    So I’m 23 and I’ve only been in one relationship in my life. I started dating this boy in my freshman year of college, when I was 18, and dated him for four years all throughout undergrad. And I really loved him, it was a great relationship. He was so very sweet and it was so nice having a best friend to cuddle with. We hardly ever fought and got along great, until he dropped the bomb on me that he didn’t want to date long-distance after graduation (we were to be attending separate graduate schools). I was heart broken and shocked. But I have tried my best to move on.

    It’s been a year now since we broke up and I haven’t dated anyone else, but not for lack of trying. I am currently in a program that is 90% female, so I have resorted to speed dating, ok cupid, and getting set up with by friends. I have gone on more than a dozen of these blind dates with other guys but I never went on more than two dates with any of them because I wasn’t attracted to them and didn’t want to lead them on


    devoidofcuddles
    Participant
    October 9, 2014 at 11:44 pm #65636

    I had been forcing myself to keep seeing this guy, trying to force myself out of my comfort zone, but is there any point dating someone I’m not attracted to? Is that fair to them? I so very badly want to date someone again but all these guys have not felt like THE ONE, I’m incredibly frustrated and lonely 🙁 I want to date but then don’t think I like them right away and feel uncomfortable and pressured since I don’t even know these guys!

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated: do I keep chugging through forcing myself out of my comfort zone with this new guy even though I don’t think I like him, just to try and date someone ANYONE after my ex and stop being so damn picky? Or is it mean to use him that way?


    AlexHg657
    Participant
    October 13, 2014 at 9:33 am #65704

    Using him is mean, the longer you keep it up the more it may hurt him when you leave him.
    It sucks being alone after a relationship, but you don’t have to jump into the arms of the first guy you see.
    Being a believer in love and other fairytale things like that, I will say that you should not try and force yourself to fall in love with someone. The feeling is rare but totally worth the wait when you find it.