Dating Again (first move)

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Dating Again (first move)

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    johnny35
    Participant
    July 13, 2016 at 6:09 am #105061
    Dating Again (first move)

    Hi

    I would appreciate your advice on this one. I’ve been in a 3 year relationship prior to being single for just under a year now. I have been wanting to ask a girl out for a few months now. She works in Marketing / Advertising and her photo is often in the newspaper. I know her name and mobile number. We unfortunately don’t have common friends and I have never met her personally. I know that she sometimes conduct marketing campaign at shopping centres.

    I don’t know what’s the best way to approach her and ask her out? Of course, sending her a text on her mobile or facebook would sounds creepy – right? Do I send a friend request on facebook? Or do I wait for the next marketing campaign, pretend I am interested in whatever she is advertising and then make the move? I don’t want to be tacky and loose the opportunity to get to know her. I’m 35 and she’s 27. Sometimes, I think I may be too old for dating. Your help would be most welcome 😉


    lilhoodie4321
    Participant
    July 13, 2016 at 6:53 pm #105162

    Facebook has become a very common place to meet people these days!


    Yodachoda
    Participant
    July 13, 2016 at 9:25 pm #105165

    Never too old for dating.


    johnny35
    Participant
    July 14, 2016 at 5:43 am #105170

    Thanks but I would like some concrete advice.


    Anonymous
    July 15, 2016 at 4:54 pm #105409

    NO!!!! don’t go the technology route! If you want to stand out and be different, pretend technology doesn’t exist. Plus, she is going to have first impressions of you through technology which you have very little influence over. For example, you may have made a snarky response to something that would offend her, but if she knew your personality, might not think anything of it. You have got to find a way to meet her in person. Make sure she is also unattached first. You are not too old to date, but dating at 35 is different than the 20’s….although, she is entering the stage of marriage mindset, so that is a good thing for you! Do not pretend anything. Have the strength to just walk right up to her and start a conversation. Don’t ask her out!!! Have the conversation to even see if you like her and if she even has a response to you. At the end of the conversation, feel it out. See if she is smiling a lot, maybe fidgety or a little flirty.


    Anonymous
    July 15, 2016 at 5:02 pm #105412

    See if she is trying to keep the conversation going or maybe trying to get out of it. Being that you have never even talked to her, you might find that once you interact with you, you actually find you are not attracted to her, so give space for that to happen for you as well. If you would like to ask her out on a date at the end, you can always just say, “I would very much like to continue talking with you. Would you be interested in a glass of wine at (so and so bar or rest.) sometime this week?” Make the first date simple….just a drink or coffee. I recommend staying away from dinner plans until the 2nd or 3rd date. So now I am guessing you are wondering how to start a conversation with her. Again, first and foremost you need to find out if she is even single. If she is, it’s pretty easy to start conversations, but you have to make sure it is in a place where you can actually talk to her (not while she is at work and needing to focus on customers etc.). Maybe wait until


    Anonymous
    July 15, 2016 at 5:10 pm #105415

    end of her day or the end of her marketing campaign at the mall. Okay…the approach….here are some quesitons you can ask to get things started…I have no clue if this is your style, so if these questions don’t work, then find some of your own that you feel comfortable with. Either way, the concept is to ask her questions that require her to give you more information about her so you can ask another question. No questions that she can answer “yes” or “no” to! This is marketing 101! “I noticed you are marketing this particular product for a 2nd time in the mall. Is it going the way you are wanting?” “How long have you been with this company?” “Tell me about what you love about marketing” “What kinds of things do you do around here for fun?” You can even start out with a compliment “I noticed your smile and it made me smile, so I just wanted to come over and say hello.” “Your eyes really stand out with that color. They are beautiful! I just wanted you to know that.”


    Anonymous
    July 15, 2016 at 5:28 pm #105420

    Now it’s important to understand that when a guy leads with a compliment, many times the girl instantly puts up the walls because she expects something uncomfortable to follow. So make sure that you follow with a neutral type of questions after you compliment her so she doesn’t feel like you have an agenda that is going to corner her. The goal is to help her feel comforable and safe with you, THEN you can ask her out. Hopefully this gives you some semblance of direction.


    ohhpageyy
    Participant
    July 15, 2016 at 8:08 pm #105431

    If you see her in person, ask her in person!

    Leonhart
    Leonhart
    Participant
    July 18, 2016 at 4:17 pm #105675
    Reply To: Dating Again (first move)

    Best of luck! 🙂


    Anonymous
    July 25, 2016 at 10:31 am #106406
    Reply To: Dating Again (first move)

    Would love an update and to hear what happened and what your experience was! You are more than welcome!