Dating my gf…time to get engaged.?we're both afraid!

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Dating my gf…time to get engaged.?we're both afraid!

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2017 at 5:08 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!


    dodsferd
    Participant
    March 6, 2016 at 1:05 am #95058
    Dating my gf…time to get engaged.?we're both afraid!

    So I really need some real LIFE advice! My gf and have been dating for a year & half.we are both 29,grad students yet with no jobs for now.we moved in together 4 weeks ago.now my gf is talking about getting engaged but I don’t feel ready.thats what I told her.i want to finish my degree, get a stable job, a nice place and then get engaged. But she wants to give me a year to decide otherwise she will break up.but I don’t have a job and we both barely have enough for rent,expenses etc. and I don’t know, even if I wanted to get engaged, how to afford a ring.thats what I told her and she insisted that she gives a year and thinks I’m wasting her time.in fact she told me her family thinks I’m not worth for her because they told her she can do better. When I heard this I was shocked, I know she loves me & Says these just to let me know so I won’t waste her time..and I do respect that.as I do not want to do that to her.also I feel extremely pressured and scared.any real advice please?

    asdf
    asdf
    Participant
    March 6, 2016 at 5:50 am #95062

    Dodsferd,

    It sounds to me like she’s scared you might leave her if she doesn’t get her life going soon, because you both are in the same boat. She may want to get married for the security that you won’t leave her, even if that means you both become homeless – at least you’ll still have each other.

    I need more information:

    -Do you REALLY love each other?
    -Sex? Religion?
    -What’s her history? (parents relationship, relationship in her culture)
    -What’s your history? (same thing)
    -What did you do that might have made her family think that of you? On top of that, what does her family expect of her, single or married?

    Keep strong man, feel free to check out my post soon too once I help more people out. We’re just trying to find the right one, ya know?

    laura
    laura
    Participant
    March 6, 2016 at 12:14 pm #95071

    Forget the family, it’s not really their business.
    You have to tell her how you feel. COMPROMISE is the key to any relationship. When will you graduate? Give yourself a year after graduation to get your career started, then you will probably be in a position to get married. How about a promise ring? The girl is getting older and I truly understand that she wants at some point to get married and start a family. Been there, done that, where guys have strung me along and wasted good years of my life….your girlfriend just wants to be sure she is not doing the same. We are all looking for the right person to spend the rest of our lives with, to love and cherish and be loved and cherished back. Talk to her about compromising, so you can start your life off on the right foot, because you want it to last for a lifetime. Give her the promise ring and tell her that you promise that ‘she is the one’ and when you are in the right place in your life, you will marry her with bells and trumpets!


    OpenToAdvice
    Participant
    March 8, 2016 at 12:59 am #95179

    Compromise is the best way to go. You can still buy her an engagement ring (they let you make payments on those) and tell her that you do want to be married to her, but you both need to take a step back and think. Do you want to start out your married life with debt and money issues being a huge burden? Tell her you’d rather wait for the big day so you can give her what she deserves. Once she sees that ring, I’d like to think she’s going to back off the rocket ship to the altar. There has to be some logic applied before a lifelong commitment.