Dating when dealing w/childhood trauma–advice please?

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Dating when dealing w/childhood trauma–advice please?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    youzoububing
    youzoububing
    Participant
    March 19, 2016 at 6:08 pm #96088
    Dating when dealing w/childhood trauma–advice please?

    Sooo this is a difficult topic for me to ask advice on, & I don’t wanna freak anyone out but I’d appreciate the honest advice & lack of judgment.
    In short, I have a *huge* problem around dating & hooking up due to being sexually abused as a kid. I’ve had a few hook ups & a brief relationship over the years, but at this point I’m a 28 y.o. man & still dealing w/trauma-related issues from my childhood.
    Being friends w/women is fine w/me, but I still deal w/shyness & anxiety when it comes to approaching chicks. Not only that, but I prefer to stay away from any physical contact w/ppl. I just met until I know them better (male or female). These 2 things (plus minor issues w/anxiety & depression) make it extremely hard to be confident & outgoing around women like the rest of my bros are.
    Lastly, I know this issue will come up quickly in any future relationships & I’m afraid any girl would either freak out or reject me cuz of this.
    I’m frustrated, lonely, & I’d appreciate any advice.

    CalebAReynolds
    CalebAReynolds
    Participant
    March 21, 2016 at 7:26 pm #96173

    I dated a girl who routinely was raped by her father growing up, would then force her to ingest narcotics so that she couldn’t live without him. Sometimes, while we would have sex, she would have a panic attack. We simply stopped, and she laid down in my arms and I squeezed her tight for an hour/hour and a half.

    It’s just one of those things that will hurt for a long time- but it stops hurting when you get out of your comfort zone. Maybe warn your partners ahead of time and maybe you’ll be able to overcome it 🙂