Dead In The Water or No?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Dead In The Water or No?

    Author
    Comments
  • BEliza81
    BEliza81
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 8:23 am #139191
    Dead In The Water or No?

    I matched with a guy on Tinder, and when we had our initial chat he was travelling in Europe at the time, though told me he would definitely like to go out on a date when he got back in early June. He also wanted me to follow him on Instagram to see how his trip was going. He was very engaging and it was a breath of fresh air, and based on his profile he actually seemed to be worth a damn and wants a relationship like myself (I know a lot of people use it for hookups, but it’s really hard for me to meet people otherwise). Well, after he returned home I asked him how his trip went. No response. Then I figured I’d wait about a week when June was actually here, so I just slipped him my number and let me know when he’s free. Still nothing. I know at this point reaching out is a no no, but how would I approach this moving forward, especially since it’s pretty likely I may run into him in real life? If anything maybe we’ll come back around via Instagram if we pick up chatting again…

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 11:09 am #139243

    sounded shady to me from the start. the “look how cool I am you can follow how cool I am on the internet” stuff – I don’t buy it. Plus.. how many females can he play that game with to seem interesting? I don’t buy it.

    But let’s get to the MORE important question you unintentionally are asking without realizing it… why is it “so hard” for you to meet people “otherwise”? It’s really not that hard and we have opportunities to meet people literally dozens and unlimitless times a day – we just don’t REALIZE IT and close our mind to it.

    BEliza81
    BEliza81
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 11:44 am #139250

    sounded shady to me from the start. the “look how cool I am you can follow how cool I am on the internet” stuff – I don’t buy it. Plus.. how many females can he play that game with to seem interesting? I don’t buy it.

    Hmm, I dunno. The reason he wanted me to follow is IG account was because I had asked him about the places he was going to, etc. He was more or less matter of fact about it. I’ve had guys before pimp their Soundclouds, etc. as fake interest but I didn’t get that impression from him. He was the one who initiated going out from the jump. I was just simply following up. For what it’s worth, I’ve noticed how clunky Tinder messaging can be at times. I’ve had messages from guys weeks and months ago I didn’t see until much later on (they weren’t pushed up to the top if it was someone I chatted with before).

    BEliza81
    BEliza81
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 2:34 pm #139251

    sounded shady to me from the start. the “look how cool I am you can follow how cool I am on the internet” stuff – I don’t buy it. Plus.. how many females can he play that game with to seem interesting? I don’t buy it.

    But let’s get to the MORE important question you unintentionally are asking without realizing it… why is it “so hard” for you to meet people “otherwise”? It’s really not that hard and we have opportunities to meet people literally dozens and unlimitless times a day – we just don’t REALIZE IT and close our mind to it.

    There are many reasons: 1) I work a lot, and I don’t get to go out and be social as often as I like. 2) I just don’t get approached when I do go out. 3) Most people my age are already coupled up. 4) I can meet someone and seemingly have good chemistry, then their girlfriend is standing five feet away also socializing.

    BEliza81
    BEliza81
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 2:35 pm #139252

    To answer your other question, I just don’t get really get approached when I go out, etc. I think a lot of it may be geographic as well because every time I’m in New York without fail I’m always asked out on a date when I meet someone in person. In the 10+ years I’ve lived where I do now, I kid you not, I’ve only been asked out on a date twice. Also, I work a lot so I don’t have a lot of free time and a lot of men my age feel they can get someone younger so I’m not really what they’re looking for as well (also, I’m not white and as much as you may think it doesn’t make a difference, think again). I’ll go out with a friend or two, my friend might get approached but I won’t. And when I may go to events or something and see a guy standing around by himself, I’ll chat him up. It’s going well and we seem to have good chemistry… but his girlfriend is standing a good ten feet away also socializing. They’re just confident in their relationships to not get insecure when chatting with others.


    mkaiser
    Participant
    June 14, 2017 at 6:14 pm #139487

    Let him contact you