Dealing with a overcontrolling and overprotective mother, please help?/

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Dealing with a overcontrolling and overprotective mother, please help?/

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    Broncos28
    Participant
    September 9, 2013 at 11:29 am #38420
    Dealing with a overcontrolling and overprotective mother, please help?/

    I love my mother dearly, but recently she has been getting on my nerves. I’m 33 and am starting to get free of my seizures, but she won’t really loosen up and treat me like an adult. I know I’ve made a few mistakesin the past year, but that was only when I was looking for Mr. Right, I’ve since found him, and he and his family havebeenvery wonderful to me! We live in the same county, but are 45 mins away from each other and have to call each other around his schedule ’cause at the moment he works 2 part-time jobs. I’ve had my Epilepsy since I was 8 months old. I can see how she wanted me to be near to her when I was a kid, but now that I’m a grown woman and things are starting to get easier(other than her being so protective and controlling-she still wants me to shower with the door open so she can hear me, I don’t even have generalized tonic-clonic seizures anymore-if any (and I only had 2 recently when my VNS battery was low and needed replacement) I have my staring seizures-and only when she is around. My Epilepsy was mostly cured after I had my brain surgery and was on the Modified Atkins Diet for 2 years (from October 11, 2010-October 11, 2012). I’m the one in the house(I livewith 2 olderbrothers, ages 36 and 47, and both parents) who does the majority of the chores (I clean the house, do laundry, clean(I’m the only one who does this part with a paper towel) and changeourcats’waterdish,help preparefood, sometimes my mom makes me wait on her hand and foot like a live-in maid! I feel like”Cinderella”sometimes. I understand I live at home and don’t have a job, but it’s RIDICULOUS because my mom will sometimes tell me how to do those jobs or how fast I should be doing them. Sometimes she’ll give me things to do one right after the other, after the other, and expect me to remember every minute detail of what she told me to do-or even bring up from downstairs! I don’t mind helping her every now and then, or even doing it for a reward(like she used to do-she’d treat me for lunch or dinner​

    TFerguson
    TFerguson
    Participant
    September 19, 2013 at 2:16 pm #39293

    Unfortunately, that’s the downside of living at home. You could probably just have a talk with her about it and she’ll understand.

    sharklasers
    sharklasers
    Participant
    September 19, 2013 at 2:20 pm #39298

    I agree with T. Your mother’s house, your mother’s rules. If you think your seizures are clear enough for you to live on your own, you gotta move out.


    Mandi
    Participant
    September 19, 2013 at 2:29 pm #39317

    It can be hard for parents to let go especially when dealing with children who have health issues. You have to take charge of the situation and be frank and honest with your mother about your boundaries. Then you have to follow through with your actions. She can learn to like it now, or she can learn to accept it later, but you have to up front and honest with her so she knows where you are coming from. Just remember, she only does the things she does out of love for you.


    howdydoody
    Participant
    September 19, 2013 at 2:33 pm #39291

    maybe you should get ready to move in with the guy? if he is “Mr Right” then you will have to live together eventually and maybe he can help you with your seizures. Mabe you and your mom need a big blow out before you can fully live separate lives. Good luck 🙂