Dealing with end of a 2yr relationship. He was my first boyfriend & best friend

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Dealing with end of a 2yr relationship. He was my first boyfriend & best friend

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    tjs1988
    Participant
    August 9, 2013 at 7:58 pm #36937
    Dealing with end of a 2yr relationship. He was my first boyfriend & best friend

    I am typically not the type of guy to post anything on discussion boards but, I don’t know where else to turn. My boyfriend and I just ended our almost 2 year relationship. He was the first guy I ever dated and the first person with whom I shared every part of me. I guess I just need some advice, but mostly I just need someone to talk to. I feel utterly and completely alone. So here is the situation; I took him on a vacation for our one-year anniversary. While we were there, someone text his phone looking for sex. After I asked him about it, he confessed that he had been cheating on me with different guys for about 6 months. He promised it would never happen again and vowed that he loved me. I gave him a second chance and things were great, for about 6 months.

    6 months later, his phone was having a SIM card issue so I took it over to Verizon for him since I was off work. While it was in my possession, he received a text from another guy saying, “how great last night was.” After I took his phone back to him, I asked him about it and he confessed to everything. He said it had been going on, with a few different guys, for about 2 months. He promised it would never happen again, and I reluctantly gave him a third chance.

    Fast forward 3 months and I got that sinking feeling that he was cheating on me again. I logged into his email to confirm my suspicions. I saw that he had not only still be cheating on me, but had actually never stopped. When I confronted him about this, he said that he, “couldn’t take it anymore” and “was tired of hurting me.”

    So my question is, I had every intention of ending things with him (3 strikes and you’re out) but why does it hurt so badly? Every part of me wants to give him another chance, however, now he no longer wants to try to make it work. I should be relieved that it’s over (and a part of me is) but I am also extremely sad that I lost him. Not only was he my first love, he was also my best friend. I have no one else to talk to about this, I don’t have any friends who know that I’m gay. Should I confide in a friend for advice? I really don’t know where else to turn. I’ve never felt so alone in my life.

    foreversingle
    foreversingle
    Participant
    October 1, 2013 at 6:25 pm #40092

    Gosh, what an awful story! If he cheated on you for the entirety of the relationship it’s a good thing that you guys are no longer together. It’s easy to get into a pattern of what you’re used to (the cheating bf) until you find and realize what a great and honest relationship really feels like. He was your first love and your first gay best friend so of course you’re still going to have feelings for him even though he cheated on you. The feeling of loneliness may persist but you just need to give it time until you find the next person that you’ll feel the same for – except they won’t cheat on you. Good luck!


    Lhasa1951
    Participant
    February 20, 2014 at 12:01 pm #48088

    Life goes on! I was with mine for five, and then met someone new shortly thereafter. =]


    confuseddater
    Participant
    February 20, 2014 at 4:34 pm #48132

    It’s because you never knew anything else. It’s tough the “first love” so to speak. I promise you’ll be fine.