Dealing with multiple (legitimate) cancellations

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Dealing with multiple (legitimate) cancellations

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    joe565
    Participant
    September 30, 2017 at 1:39 am #151038
    Dealing with multiple (legitimate) cancellations

    Thanks for any advice, I became good friends with a coworker and we were always joking around and having a good time teasing each other when we worked together. About 2 months ago I switched locations, but we kept in contact via the workplace email and we talked every day, and I got her number but we talked all day at work so I never really texted her (dumb). Roughly a month ago I asked her if she would want to meet up (something we haven’t done) and get dinner together sometime, which she seemed excited to do. I suggested a weekday, she said she couldn’t but suggested the following week on a holiday we had off. Unfortunately life happened and she had to cancel on me for a completely legitimate reason (family health). So later that week I asked her if she still wanted to meet up, which she again readily agreed to. That week I got sick and had to cancel. So, we set it up again, and a death happens and she has to cancel yet again. (continued below)


    joe565
    Participant
    September 30, 2017 at 1:46 am #151039

    Now I go about setting it up again, and I went to confirm on Saturday and got nervous when I hadn’t heard back after about an hour so I texted her again (dumb, yet again). And we’re back to square one. At this point she no longer works for the company so our only contact is via text and I don’t feel right constantly harassing her. We have still talked after this happened, it hasn’t been radio silence or anything, but since we don’t work at the same company anymore it has dropped from daily talking down to twice this week. She just started this new job and has a second one as well, so I’ve been trying not to pressure her in to scheduling anything. I know that I should wait for her to reschedule, but I do really like her and it seemed like she was at least willing to go out once. I’m not sure if i should just give it up at this point since it’s been so long and nothings happened, or if I should wait maybe a week or so and try again when she’s settled in to her new job


    kybaby27
    Participant
    September 30, 2017 at 9:42 am #151044

    I understand the difficulty with trying to find balance between letting the other person initiate or you putting in the effort. It sounds like you have been consistent on putting in effort and the woman is indifferent about things. As a woman, for any guy that I am TRULY interested in, I would make it happen so I can see them ASAP! I mean… I would be willing to see them spontaneously the day of if they came to me and asked me to hang out. Now, I do understand that feelings and interest can develop over time as well and isn’t always an initial thing. I would say wait a couple more weeks to see if she takes charge, and if she doesn’t, be honest and open with her about how you have made an effort and you still have interest, but that she can reach out to you when she is ready. She could be busy, yes, but I am a firm believer that people will make time for you if you are truly that important.


    joe565
    Participant
    October 2, 2017 at 8:52 am #151040

    Sorry for third response, but I’m not as confident that the latest cancellation was as legitimate as the first. It was just a simple “Sorry i didn’t realize this event was going to be this long (legit event, but I’m not sure if it really would have interfered), maybe next weekend”


    Fghzxc
    Participant
    October 3, 2017 at 3:36 pm #151323

    I agree on that