Did he lose interest after the first date?


Did he lose interest after the first date?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    February 14, 2017 at 1:38 am #126844
    Did he lose interest after the first date?

    Ive been texting w/a guy and talking to him on the phone for a week. He just got out of a relationship 7 months ago. He said he’s looking for a relationship, his goal is not sex. We had a date and it was going well. We ended up sleeping together. He told me it didn’t change how he looked at me and will still call/text. As I was leaving his place he didn’t get up at first to walk me out. When I left no hug or kiss just a thank you for coming out.
    He didn’t text me later that day so I texted him. He replied but very generic. It was fun, thanks for coming out blah blah. Nothing after.
    The next day no text again. I texted him. He replied asking how I was. I replied then he reacted and that’s it.
    His texts have lessened a lot compared to before. He does have work & his kids this week but can he really be that busy??
    What should I do?? Should I give up and realize it was all sex? Or should I give it a few days to see if he’ll text THEN text him knowing it’s over and say Good luck/bye?

    He kept assuring me he liked me. We talked about other possible dates over the evening before we slept together. He seemed interested. And the week we were talking he initiated the texts or calls.

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  stella517.
    February 14, 2017 at 3:50 am #126847

    It’s low-interest on his part.

    February 14, 2017 at 7:41 am #126851

    So most likely he won’t contact me again?

    February 14, 2017 at 8:09 am #126852

    A guy can contact you with low-interest. A guy can have sex with low-interest.

    It’s much less likely that a guy initiates a serious relationship with low interest, though. And he certainly doesn’t sound loved up.

    You should probably adjust your expectations accordingly.

    I would also suggest you don’t do anything rash, such as send any sort of “goodbye text”. I’ve regretted doing things like that. Keep your value instead.

    February 14, 2017 at 8:21 am #126853

    Is the goodbye text too cheesy or “crazy girl”? It was going to be the – nice to meet you! I hope you find what you’re looking for -kind of text.

    February 14, 2017 at 8:49 am #126855

    A bit both.

    When I get messages like that, I am kind of repelled to be honest.

    And, when I’ve sent messages like that, I’ve always regretted doing it.

    That comes from loads of different reasons (burning my bridges, allowing anxiety to dictate my behaviour, saying/investing more than was necessary, etc etc)

    I understand that it may come from a need to protect yourself, or whatever. So, you just want it over with. But, methinks you need to play the coquette a bit more with men.

    Be more secure in yourself to say nothing, and let his mind wonder instead.

    If he doesn’t come back around, then you don’t lose anything. If he does, then you go from there.

    In the meantime, forget him and be fully living your life. Don’t put it on hold for anyone.

    February 15, 2017 at 2:12 am #126983

    I would agree he doesn’t seem interested, especially not in a serious relationship. I also agree with saying nothing being better than sending a “goodbye” text or whatever. If he isn’t interested sending a text like that will just validate his lack of interest. Probably won’t make him rethink anything.

    February 15, 2017 at 2:27 am #126985

    Well i had a new development. He actually texted me. I replied to his last text saying something went well. He didn’t text me back so that was the end of it. Then the next day he replied and asked how I’m doing. I replied to him saying I’m good, thanks for asking and didn’t ask him hoe he’s doing. He still replied and said something about the weather which i simply agreed on. I was texting very dry, things wherein the conversation can just end but was still texting me. Then he said happy valentines day. I said thanks you too. Then he told me his plans which was to spend time with his kids. So I replied to that.

    Is he texting just to keep me in his back pocket? I don’t get it. And this was after i deleted his # already since i gave up on him and considered him closed.

    February 15, 2017 at 6:28 pm #127154

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