Did I mess up?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Did I mess up?

    Author
    Comments

  • Singlestill
    Participant
    August 7, 2016 at 2:10 pm #107737
    Did I mess up?

    1st date last night. Knew each other for 5 years. Always very attracted to each other. Lengthy, flirty messages before date, both made it clear very excited. Date went well, conversation flowed, a lot of laughter. We were both very honest and open about our life, family, friends and past relationships (not sure if I said too much). Few drinks in, she told me out of the blue, that she had to go home, call her dad abroad, due in hospital next day for medical procedure. I know he has had serious medical issues over the last few years and she has close relationship with her family. Live in same direction, walked together, reaching my place first. Aranged 2nd date, but 3 weekends time, she has plan next 2 weekends. Parted, with a long, tight cuddle, she kissed me on cheek. I didn’t go for kiss, didn’t seem like the time. Parted smiling. Messaged her in morning, I really enjoyed date, hope her dad is ok etc. No reply, but see on messenger she has been online. Am I being over anxious?


    Anonymous
    August 7, 2016 at 9:02 pm #107739

    I think its normal to get anxious. Looks like she might be liking you too but tries to stay away probably because of her dad’s condition. I really hope her dad is ok! You shouldn’t be too pushy, and genuinly ask for her father’s health. As i said its normal to be anxious and it’s been long, but don’t get pushy, make her want to text you back and don’t take you for granted.


    Singlestill
    Participant
    August 8, 2016 at 2:33 am #107750

    I think its normal to get anxious. Looks like she might be liking you too but tries to stay away probably because of her dad’s condition. I really hope her dad is ok! You shouldn’t be too pushy, and genuinly ask for her father’s health. As i said its normal to be anxious and it’s been long, but don’t get pushy, make her want to text you back and don’t take you for granted.

    Thanks for the reply Pimoknijb. Probably you’re right. I tend to over think things and I’d worked myself into a real excitement. I’ve got nothing but genuine concern for her and her dad. Think I’ll leave it a few days and message her again.

    MissBee
    MissBee
    Participant
    August 8, 2016 at 1:31 pm #107768

    This anxiety is normal. Don’t sweat the issue of her being busy the next two weekends. She’s a single girl and makes plans for herself. Once there is more emotion between the two of you, you will become more of a priority and she will keep weekends open for you. This is a first date. Her father’s health issue could be a huge distraction for her right now, so she can’t give this budding relationship the attention it needs right now. Key is to be supportive, patient, and understanding, but still show interest. Ask how her dad is doing and if there is anything you can do to help. Sounds like you were perfectly respectful and in my books, that is worth points. Keep it up and don’t sweat it too early. Keep things cool and casual. 🙂


    confused954
    Participant
    August 9, 2016 at 8:47 am #107803

    Be very patient. Her concern now is probably for her dad, not you. You have a dates scheduled for 3 weekends away. Messaging her every few days is fine, but don’t overdo it. In your messages you should show concern for her dad.

    lunapark
    lunapark
    Participant
    August 9, 2016 at 11:45 pm #107861

    its normal anxiety, just try to keep patient, cuz she has some problems in her father, so just try to text her day by day, and if she is okay.
    and try to ask about father together, and let her know you are really worried about her and her father together.:)

    BettyBrown
    BettyBrown
    Participant
    August 10, 2016 at 9:33 am #107884

    Waiting for few more days and messaging her again is the right decision. Maybe something isn’t good with her father (hopefully not), or something else happened that simply kept her too busy. Anyway if she kissed you it means you didn’t do anything wrong and not answering messsages because you didn’t kiss her would be stupid, so relax and wait for a few days.


    Braytc
    Participant
    August 10, 2016 at 10:27 pm #107918

    kind of reminds me of something that happened to me back in november. Met her on social media, seemed like we liked eachother a ton (she invited ME to HER freaking DORM that same week, not me inviting her) , got to her place and we really seemed to have great chemistry. I get home, text her that similar type of thing (maybe i messed up doing that?) and she responded but not in my favor for some reason. Couldn’t get over it for days. Weird as hell.


    rmercer
    Participant
    August 11, 2016 at 2:49 am #107933

    Keep your composure and don’t do anything reckless like blowing up her DM or phone. I learned the hard way it turns women off even if your doing it for the right reasons


    Soulja
    Participant
    August 11, 2016 at 3:46 am #107942
    Reply To: Did I mess up?

    After 5 years of knowing her..1st date..she has plans next 2 weekends? Next time she ask u out check ur calender to


    AEMFS
    Participant
    August 12, 2016 at 3:06 pm #108102
    Reply To: Did I mess up?

    Don’t over think this, too much thinking can be your worst enemy. just play it by ear. if her dad is sick she might not be up for the dating thing right now.
    think about it, if something happen to one of your parents (god forbid ) you wouldn’t feel right going on dates and getting all kissy kissy wile they lie sick or on deaths door bed, would kind of be disrespectful to your parent. she may need you more as a friend right now. another thing is if you too have been friends for 5 years she my be worried that things are going to change too much between you two, she dose not wont to lose you as a friend, its going to be playing on her mind, trust me.
    just be there for her, and sometimes that may mean giving her some space.

    just follow her lead, listen and stay true to what you want. in a nut shell be cool but dont give up


    kasey008
    Participant
    August 13, 2016 at 7:33 am #108151
    Reply To: Did I mess up?

    I wouldn’t think too much about her not answering. Look at the facts – She went on a date with you, you know each other for 5 years, you texted back and forth flirting.
    Her dad is ill, its probably taking its toll on her. Give her a little space and ask how everything is doing. When you went on a date, and opened up to each other, you can be pretty straightforward with her at some time if it seems like she is evading.