Did I screw up?


Did I screw up?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    March 8, 2017 at 7:39 pm #129516
    Did I screw up?

    I’ve grown really fond a teller at my bank. I can talk to her like I’ve known her for years, only meet her in Nov 2016. She & I had only talked 2 time through Jan 2017. After the second time, she remembered my name and said hi whenever I walked through the door, even if she was with another customer. I’ve tried to ask her out while in the bank, but can never do it. Always chicken out. I went to the bank one Saturday at closing. I made sure she saw me sitting there before I got out of my car. She said hey and my name first. I didn’t know her name yet. Asked if I could talk to her for a minute, she agreed and walked towards me. I asked her her name, she told me. I then asked if she would have lunch with me sometime. She said “Sure, that would be great”. We talked for a second and I said I’d let her go. I asked for her number, she hesitated for a second, then said she’d give it to me next time I was in the bank. Continued below.

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Confused48.

    March 8, 2017 at 7:53 pm #129519

    Six days later I go to the bank to she if she can go to lunch that day. After she gets finished with the customer at her window, I approach. I ask her how long she gets for lunch. She looks at me like she hates me and says “I’m not interested”.
    Did she tell me she would go to lunch with me because she was scared in the parking lot?
    Was not giving me her number a way of letting me know that she wasn’t really interested?
    Should I apologize to her, even though I don’t know what I did?

    March 9, 2017 at 11:25 am #129593

    Well first, bravo for being brave! I’d say that you should definitely just leave it alone at this point though. If someone is equally as brave enough to tell you that they’re not interested then you should certainly respect their choice. To the matter of why, there could be a number of reasons why she “changed” her mind. First and for most, she is working, and even though I understand you met her at work, you have to respect that she is in a professional environment and asking her to lunch while she is at work is kind of off-putting. If you had her number, the appropriate thing to do would have been to call her and ask her to let you know when she is free for lunch. Also, yeah, it’s a little creepy to wait outside someone’s job to ask them on a date. I get that you didn’t really know any other way, but she is a woman and she doesn’t know you. She might have felt pressured to agree to lunch in the parking lot because you were foreign to her. Just be kind and cordial from here on out!

    March 9, 2017 at 6:55 pm #129676

    I don’t think asking her to lunch while at work was off putting. We had talked about her nose piercing, navel piercing, tattoos and a few other things on previous visits. Did I mention I have no idea how old she is? She is younger than me for sure. Could she have found out that I’m older than she thought? How big an age difference is too much?