Did I sound too needy?

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Did I sound too needy?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    taked0wn
    Participant
    January 13, 2015 at 5:27 am #70376
    Did I sound too needy?

    A girl and I were hanging out/talking for a month. We were talking about very serious/secretive topics but were able to bond over them. Recently she’s been cold and avoiding me. I asked her about it over text and she said that she wasn’t avoiding me. I’ve been freaking out because recently she’s been flirty with another dude.

    I sent her this text and wanted to know how bad the text sounds on the other end.

    “I feel like you’ve been cold and awkward to me lately, even more so yesterday. Can you stop it or just tell me why?”

    How needy does that sound?

    • This topic was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by  taked0wn.
    HVW_Mark
    HVW_Mark
    Participant
    January 13, 2015 at 7:46 am #70378

    Sorry, but pretty Needy :\

    Esp over text. Just don’t send stuff like this over text. Ever. As a guy it just makes you look scared. You’ve basically texted this twice now. You too have done really nothing other than talk, you are nowhere near the stage where you can be worried about other guys.

    Change your tune. Send “hey sorry for my last couple of text’s, I’ve realised I’ve been acting like a bit of a douche. Shitty day :\ have really enjoyed hanging out with ya anyway. Have a blast w/whatever you’re up to this weekend, will text cha sometime soon :)”. Then leave it, like, no contact, til next week. Like, if she replies, dont reply, just leave it on a good note and let it all settle.

    If nothing early next week, follow up with something like “Would be good to hear how you’ve been, would love to see you this week but only if ur free. Let me know :)”

    Then, if nothing, give up


    homebynow
    Participant
    January 14, 2015 at 12:07 am #70542

    I hate to use the term too “needy,” because a person who has feelings for another person has a right to feel them, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, if you want to express your feeling in a way that you get the best reaction from her, your text is not probably the best way to go because it pressures her and puts in a corner, and because it lets her know just how affected you are by her behavior and therefore gives away all your power in the situation. I would try to do this in person or on the phone if you can, but if you absolutely must text and absolutely must find out what’s going on. Keep in mind she might not give you an answer, or she might not give you a true answer. It might be better, although more difficult I know, to wait and see how she acts towards you and in the meantime start going out with other people. My suggested text if you absolutely must text keeps it positive and doesn’t criticize or tell her what to do.


    taked0wn
    Participant
    February 14, 2015 at 11:47 am #73452

    ^^Great advice from both you guys.


    linda_zhang
    Participant
    February 15, 2015 at 2:36 pm #73466

    I am a girl and if I get a message like that from a guy that I’m close with but not a boyfriend, I would get freaked out. I got a feeling she just wanted to remain as friends, or that she tried to take your relationship to the next level, but changed her mind.

    Also, she tells you she’s flirting with another guy. If I like a guy, I would not him know that I am flirting with other guys.

    March 14, 2015 at 12:34 am #75358

    ya this pisses me off, apparently it seems it is more important for a guy to have a life than it is for a girl


    RobbyM
    Participant
    March 14, 2015 at 12:32 pm #75370

    Yes, I would definitely say this sounds too “needy” in a sense. You asked her before is she avoiding you and she said “no” which is most likely a lie. However, during the conversation yall had over the course of the month (that made you both close) there was probably something that she felt uncomfortable with that was said on your end. I think the best way to go about this situation is to ask her out and then discuss all this face to face.


    s
    Participant
    March 15, 2015 at 4:18 am #75380

    yes


    Sophiye
    Participant
    March 15, 2015 at 5:55 am #75382

    You guys are hanging out for a month. It’s too early to understand her feelings about you. You should give her some time. What you sent doesn’t sound to me “too needy” but it’s better if you could follow the same what she is doing with you. May be don’t receive her phone or reply text for a day or two. Then check her response about you!

    YoChill420
    YoChill420
    Participant
    March 15, 2015 at 11:54 am #75391
    Reply To: Did I sound too needy?

    Youngjazz gave you some really good advice listen to him.

    March 15, 2015 at 3:41 pm #75396
    Reply To: Did I sound too needy?

    and yet people argue, that being a Man, being masculine, being born with a penis, being a human male, is a blessing, a luxury, is the greatest thing in the world