Difficult situation and new to dating. Help!!!!

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Difficult situation and new to dating. Help!!!!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    desperatelygay
    Participant
    January 29, 2018 at 11:03 am #163684
    Difficult situation and new to dating. Help!!!!

    Ok this might be a long post but please bare with me I need any little advice I can get. Ok so first of all, I’m 15, a lesbian and never been in a relationship with a girl (I’ve been in 2 “relationships” with boys but we didn’t even kiss, also, I’ve never had a first kiss, I know I’m lame). I’m pretty confident with calling myself a lesbian, so to prove I’m actually one, I’ve been desperate to find a girlfriend. Though I had no luck, I decided to just wait for “the one”. After a bit of waiting and a really really depressing and lonely summer (summer of 2017), school started. I am a freshman in high school so my hopes were pretty high in getting a girlfriend (I should mention also I’m at an art school so everyone’s gay here). Still no luck. In the middle of October, I got a message on instagram dm from a girl I heard about from a friend but never really knew anything about her. We talked, we made jokes and we both kinda just went along, starting a new friendship.


    desperatelygay
    Participant
    January 29, 2018 at 11:11 am #163687

    I never really thought much of this conversation, so I don’t care. After a while of talking, i found out she was gay as well. Somehow, after some not-so-subtle invites, we finally met up at a nice coffee shop in town. We talked for about 3 hours there and shared our life stories. It was great. Then we started going out more and more. At the end of November she just stopped talking to me. This was weird, considering we talked every day. (Important: she had mentioned before that her parents are pretty strict and anti-lgbt. Once they even sent her to a psychiatrist to get her “fixed” because they thought she was gay, but now it was all good, her parents were convinced she was straight) I asked her if I said something wrong and apologized if I did, but then she proceeded to tell me “we can’t be together anymore, I’m sorry”. I was left confused and angry and sad all at the same time. I got one of my friends to ask another friend about her and he said “it’s because of her parents”.


    desperatelygay
    Participant
    January 29, 2018 at 4:32 pm #163688

    Anyways, I “kinda” moved on for about 2 weeks, though I was still thinking about her (I know we only met like a month ago but keep in mind I was touch starved, and still am for a very long time). It was just horrible to finally get a small amount of affection after getting none for so long and then have it ripped away from you. In December she started messaging me again, and we both agreed to just keep it casual. We went out occasionally and we talked, but it was very clear it wasn’t all that “casual”. The long stares and little bits of hair twirling, plus a whole bunch of compliments didn’t really mean “casual”. Also I should mention, the reason we started taking again is that she got a “quick fake boyfriend” to fool her parents into thinking she was really straight. That didn’t matter tho. Then, one day she invited me to her school dance, keep in mind her fake boyfriend would be there as her date. I had a plan in mind:


    desperatelygay
    Participant
    January 29, 2018 at 4:32 pm #163692

    In December we started talking again and we went out ever so often, since we both agreed to keep it “casual”. Though the long stares, hair twirling and cute compliments didn’t make it seem all that casual. The reason we started talking again is that she got a “fake boyfriendl” to help convince her parents she was actually straight. That didn’t really bother me becyo knew he’s just a decoy. Then she invited me to her school dance, but of course only as an invitee, not as a date (that would be her “boyfriend”). I had a plan though: I wanted to make her jealous by bringing a friend (a girl) at the ball with me, as my “plus 1” and then, proceed to make a move and kiss her after some more careful planning. After the dance was over, my friend left and me and I saw a group of people head out to go hang out at a nearby chill bar. Guess what, the group had both the girl I loved and her boyfriend. I said whatever and went along.