Digging for details

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Digging for details

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    woodj3
    woodj3
    Participant
    January 20, 2017 at 12:43 pm #123925
    Digging for details

    I’ve been in a relationship with her for about a month. She lives with her daughter and her gay female friend who also has a daughter, her friend is attracted to her. I was going to her house to pick her up and as I walked up to the back door she was casually walking from the bathroom into her room naked. She looked at her roommate and said something. Her roommate look at me and back at my partner and said something. My partner hurried into her room. While she was looking for clothes, she stood in the door way completely naked and they said something to each other. I was on the porch having a smoke and I waved to my partner to let her know I was there. I became upset because I feel like it is inappropriate for her to be naked in front of her roommate who has feelings for her. I decided I was uncomfortable and texted her saying to let me know when she was ready to go and that I was running to the gas station for gum. When she got into my car she asked if something was wrong…

    woodj3
    woodj3
    Participant
    January 20, 2017 at 12:47 pm #123926

    …I said “yes, I’m upset because I feel like it’s inappropriate for you to be naked in front of someone who has feeling for you” She said she didn’t know what i was talking about. I told her what I saw and suggested we talk about it later but she wanted to keep talking about it, So i agreed to. For the next hour and a half she swore it didn’t happen. That she was in a towel, or in her bra and underwear. I insisted that I knew what i saw. After denying she eventually said that maybe that happened. I told her it did happen because i saw her when i was outside smoking. She said she didn’t see me outside. Eventually she said she did walk from the bathroom to the bedroom naked knowing her roommate was right there. But that i was projecting other issues onto her. This was the second time she denied something I new about and eventually admitted to it. We went out for a few drinks and when we got home she started to deny again. Only to again say what I saw was accurate…

    woodj3
    woodj3
    Participant
    January 20, 2017 at 2:16 pm #123927

    …She began to tell me that I was manipulating her into saying things that weren’t true. I became upset and told her I needed to go home and she okay. I love we can talk tomorrow. I attempted to kiss her on the cheek and backed up and went into her room. As I was walking out of the apartment, I heard her say something and I went into her room and asked her what she said. She told me I was being an asshole. I asked why and she said because I was going home. I stood there feeling really defeated and decided to leave. She texted me numerous times apologizing. I had decided that this relationship was becoming too difficult. I broke up with her this morning and she is telling me that this is how relationships are and that we need to work it out. I’m insistent that things were hidden from me and she is beginning to deny it again. Saying I’m putting words into her mouth. I’m trying to figure out if I’m bailing too soon or if this is intact something I need to stick with and work out.

    woodj3
    woodj3
    Participant
    January 20, 2017 at 2:16 pm #123928

    when

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    January 20, 2017 at 3:23 pm #123964

    i think your’e overblowing things. Females are used to being naked around other females a bit more – and are far more comfortable about it – feelings or no feelings. On the male side it’s definitely a bit different.

    You were wrong to intervene and to insist that your version of how they should be roomies and what they should and shouldn’t be comfy with – that was out of bounds on your part. they have known each other longer, lived together longer than you and your partner have. So you have no say in that deal and what happens between them as roomies…

    Now if you see them kissing and making out and touching – different story. But nothign CLOSE to that occurred. You were out of bounds.

    So.. the question here is – can you accept that they are roomies, and as female roomies go – can become comfortable with the way they are around each other no matter what it is as long as its non-romantic? If not – move on. If so, she sounds like a great gal that is worht your while.

    woodj3
    woodj3
    Participant
    January 20, 2017 at 11:48 pm #123996

    So it doesn’t matter that her roommate likes her? More than a friend? I can’t help but ask “what if that was a guy?” They moved in together a few weeks before her and I started dating.friemds for a few months.


    Bittersweet90
    Participant
    March 7, 2017 at 11:17 am #129252

    If it was a guy roomate, she would be my EX.