May 18, 2017 at 8:38 pm #136904
I met this amazing guy online. He lives about 1.5 hrs away. We formed a fast connection and would text several times a day and long into the night. We have many things in common and the conversation always flows easily. We exchanged pictures and there is a mutual physical attraction..
A few days ago I met him for a lunch date. We had good conversation for 2 hours, and he walked me to my car and hugged me after. We made plans for him to come visit me in a couple weeks. However since the lunch date, he seems to have cooled off a lot. We still text daily but it is completely casual in nature and there is no longer any flirtation. I would almost think I’m being friend-zoned but he still sends me a text every morning saying “good morning sweetheart” and a text at night saying “good night sweetheart”. He said he feels there is a connection between us but he wants to “take it slow” and “play it by ear”. I’m tempted to pour my heart out to him but I’m afraid that would drive him away.
- This topic was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by Amanda.
lovie4youParticipantMay 19, 2017 at 8:49 am #136908
I see what you mean, there was the high expectation and now it is more casual after your first date. Maybe he does just want to take it slow. I don;t think it is a major concern at least not for now. I think as long as he is still texting you, that is a good sign.A lot of them will get ignored after the first date. I hope it works out for you two.May 19, 2017 at 10:36 am #136930
Thank you. In the meantime should I tell him how much he means to me and encourage him to give us a chance or should I keep it cool as well?
Mel4everableParticipantMay 19, 2017 at 12:27 pm #136944
I believe that you sincerely like him and since I have been in a similar situation before where there’s constant texting and then the personal suddenly becomes distant, I understand how you feel. I don’t believe it is wrong that you let him know how you feel and he does the same. Just make sure that you guys are on the same level and after that, anything can happen. At least you’ll have clarity to either (i) move along with him to pursue a relationship or (ii) move along with someone else. P.S- Don’t let the distance be the problem… if you guys do work it out then visiting shouldn’t be much of a big deal. It’s only 1.5 hours away. It’s not as if you have to book a flight to see him or he see you.
lovie4youParticipantMay 19, 2017 at 1:51 pm #136963
I really like what you said and I agree with Mel4everable. If I was you, I would email him and just tell him how much you feel for him and how we can work together to work things out and then wait for a response and let’s hope he does respond, I’m thinking he should and if he doesn’t respond OhOh I really hopes works out.
CherryBlossomTreeParticipantMay 19, 2017 at 8:11 pm #137042
If you two are on a deep conversation level, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell him how you feel before the friend zoning is complete. Being open and honest is healthy in relationships. So hopefully in taking this step, he’ll see a part of you that makes him want to be with you.
sarrhlParticipantMay 19, 2017 at 9:25 pm #137045
I believe you have a chance with this guy but maybe he just wants to take it slow. Just communicate with him how you feel and see from there.
Mel4everableParticipantMay 22, 2017 at 9:13 am #136976
I am afraid of the heartbreak if I tell him exactly how I feel and it’s not mutual. This is the first person I’ve been interested in since my marriage ended and he makes me happier than I ever could have imagined. The connection is/was there and we do have a lot of things in common. But he has really cooled off and it gets a little worse each day. As hard as it is to admit, I can sense he is not into me for whatever reason and it hurts like you wouldn’t believe. So I could email him but I think then everything would be over for good and I’m not ready for that. I have gone from smiling all the time to this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach and being on the verge of tears. I truly thought I was maybe starting to fall in love with him so I want to be really careful with my next move.May 22, 2017 at 9:18 am #136982
Sorry in advance if you get 2 replies, not sure if they other one submitted. Anyway I am afraid to e-mail him and the heartache that might come along with it. My feelings for him are strong, almost like the beginnings of love, and as much as I hate to admit I don’t think it’s mutual. As each day goes by he seems to cool off more and more and I can already feel my heart start to break. This is the first person I have been interested in since my marriage ended and I have went from smiling all the time to this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I want to be really careful with my next move. I fear that if I tell him how much he means to me and how much I can’t stop thinking of him, that will sound too clingy and desperate and will drive him away for good.
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