Do I just let it go or what?

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Do I just let it go or what?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    confused0912
    Participant
    May 17, 2016 at 4:32 pm #100665
    Do I just let it go or what?

    So, I met this guy three years ago online and we hit it off really well but I saw him more as a friend at first. After we continued to talk, feelings started to grow and nine months passed but we lived 1500 miles apart so just kept it friendly except for one trip I took that was close to him and he came to meet me. We had a fairly good time but I had lied to him about some stuff so I came clean with him that night and he was very upset with me. I thought I would probably never hear from him again. He text me a few weeks later questioning me some more and I answered everything but that was that. A few months later I moved 700+ miles away with just my kids. No family or friends. One day I ran into him at the store only to find out he had moved too and we were now living about 4 miles apart. We started talking again but I could tell he was still upset over my lies and I couldn’t forgive myself for losing this great friend, if nothing else because I lied as well. (continued in comments)


    confused0912
    Participant
    May 17, 2016 at 4:58 pm #100672

    I have changed quite a bit physically (started working out and lose 60 lbs) since he saw me last and I am sure that is one reason he has looked at my profile repeatedly. He will occasionally send a text just asking how I am but since I said I wouldn’t sleep with him, it has been less frequent. If I text him something, which is very rare, he will respond but we don’t have in depth conversation. He is also very stubborn and prideful and can’t stand to lose and that has some bearing on how he behaves. I love this man more than anything and think we would be phenomenal together but if he isn’t willing to try, I can’t make him. It hurts so bad because I have realized for the first time in my life and I am in my late 30’s, that I am in love, head over heels but I refuse to be used!! Do I just walk away?


    confused0912
    Participant
    May 17, 2016 at 4:58 pm #100666

    He expressed to me that the emotional connection we had once had was gone because of my lies but that he was still physically attracted. I had been in an abusive marriage for years and at this point had little to no self esteem and basically accepted whatever he was willing to give because I cared for him so much. We continued to hang out from time to time and one thing led to another. We became intimate and basically has a friends with benefits arrangement for about 4 months before he met a girl and started dating her. We had agreed that if one of us met someone and started dating, we would be honest with the other and break off our arrangement. Instead of being honest with me, he threw the lies back up in my face all over again and basically said he didn’t ever want to talk to me again. I was hurt that he lied to me especially after how much he had admonished me for lying but I walked away and didn’t bother him again. Apparently, they broke up sometime last (continued in comments)


    confused0912
    Participant
    May 17, 2016 at 4:58 pm #100668

    year and after about 5 months, he text me out of the blue and asked how I was doing. We had a decent conversation and talked about how he lied to me etc. He said that a lot of the way he treated me stemmed from the lies in the beginning which were finally in the past and he hoped we could be friends again. He hinted at a sexual relationship in some ways and I quickly told him that in the last year, I have worked on my body and my self and respect myself too much now to enter into anything of that nature ever again. He said he understood and asked a few times if I wanted to come over and hang out, no sex involved but I politely declined each time. I want to so bad but I am afraid I will truly see what I think I already know and that is that he will just want to hang out in the hopes I would eventually have sex with him again. We both joined a dating site without the other one knowing and it paired us up first day. He has repeatedly looked at my profile but not reached out. (cont)


    wrestlebob14
    Participant
    May 17, 2016 at 10:48 pm #100701

    If u feel it’s right keep at him