Do I just need to be more bold?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Do I just need to be more bold?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    cleckop000
    Participant
    April 22, 2015 at 11:31 pm #77778
    Do I just need to be more bold?

    I’m a really shy guy. I’ve gone out with girls before, but not many. I don’t know what I do wrong or what I don’t do enough of, but I can’t really get girls to like me, or so it seems. I know this sounds cheesy and awkward, but I can’t figure out where I go wrong. I’ve been told by lots of people (not romantically interested) that I’m a good looking guy. I’m in decent shape, and keep good hygiene. I’m shy, but once I loosen up, I think I have a good personality. Is it the shyness? It seems like every time I try, things don’t work out.


    cristianmg13
    Participant
    April 24, 2015 at 8:44 am #77818

    I feel you man. I’m a shy person but once I get to know someone a little bit I begin to open up. I seem to be able to make female friends pretty easily, but I find it difficult to get past that friend stage. I do not know If its in the words I say, how I present myself, but I try my best to let them know I am interested. I can make good conversation with a girl, get her laughing, and have a genuine conversation with her, but like you said, every time I try, things don’t work out.


    hongmast
    Participant
    April 24, 2015 at 1:22 pm #77850

    I am just like you man. People tell me I am good looking and I am not the talkative type. I found that getting yourself out there more and getting more chances to meet other girls help.


    sahm15
    Participant
    April 25, 2015 at 11:22 am #77886

    The time when being shy is going to matter most is after a date — if you don’t write or contact the woman pretty quickly to say you had a good time. Silence after a date is taken by the woman as DISinterest. And she will run fast to a new person to soothe her wounds. Women are getting used to being the one to make the first move, but maybe that is when they get older (like over 30 older). Find ways to touch her when flirting (pat on back, standing/sitting close enough to bump each other) — i think these are pretty strong clues that you are flirting without having to come out and ask someone out. To figure out where a girl goes on her weekends, ask her what she did last weekend (did she have fun…) then get yourself there this weekend… go take some dance lessons and meet women over 30 — they’ll be picking you up pretty fast, even be open to 40 year olds. all the practice helps get comfortable with the process.


    donut9
    Participant
    April 26, 2015 at 1:19 pm #77903

    You need to ask her out. That should be your first goal. And then on your first date, tell her a bit about you and be honest about your expectations.

    carla
    carla
    Participant
    April 26, 2015 at 3:58 pm #77915

    shyness plays a big role in ruining relations
    girls love the guy who has strong personality,smart and can be relied on
    maybe your girl wants to go far in this relationship by kissing her tell her nice words touch her and because you’re shy probably you can’t please her
    relax don’t ever be shy live your moments


    trapezemit
    Participant
    April 28, 2015 at 7:26 pm #77964

    Gosh I am def feeling your pain. I actually am seeing this lady and I am a very shy guy just like you. Sometimes I want to be bold but I don’t know if the lady will get offended if I make a move and get her bad feeling instead. I was told to read their body languages but still difficult to know what they want or think.


    infamissg
    Participant
    April 28, 2015 at 9:42 pm #77972

    For all you guys out there – this is a girl’s pov:
    Honestly speaking, I find it extremely difficult to keep a conversation going with a shy person.
    Most of the shy guys I’ve talked to, always kept a closed conversation, not because they weren’t interested but because they were too shy and over-thinking things they were going to say or shouldn’t say. It really is a challenge, and I feel like if the girl that you are seeing, or hoping to date or whatever is not patient then chances are it’s not going to be successful. Again, this is just my opinion, and some girls (like me) LOOOVE shy guys. I normally make them nervous on purpose to see their reaction, and giggle in the inside to myself. But to help you, the best thing you can do for the girl and yourself is to text her flirtatious things you wouldn’t ever say in real life… yet. You just have to break the barrier. Be FLIRTACIOUS.. I think that’s where your going wrong. Girls gets bored of trying to talk to a shy guy.